hey - caught ya. i had rough ride myself today. I spewed somewhere about it. might even be on my own thread for a change. Now that would be diplomatic. Py. Nah - it was on Smothy's. Next time at my place I promise. take it easy Huddy, hopefully the next 24 hrs is less dramatic.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
My guts are rolling with fear right now. Is the letter going to be there when I get home? Will W back down and try talking. Have got my hair cut (my D asked me last night to get it done and then wondered why mummy didn't do it for daddy anymore) so look less hairy than yesterday.
I just wish this ride would stop!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
My guts are rolling with fear right now. Is the letter going to be there when I get home? Will W back down and try talking. Have got my hair cut (my D asked me last night to get it done and then wondered why mummy didn't do it for daddy anymore) so look less hairy than yesterday.
I just wish this ride would stop!
Right dude. It's getting close to clocking off time. I'm hoping you're stable and in a good place. Be calm, at least on the exterior anyway. I'm rooting for you and let us know how it goes later.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
I've either just done the most stupid thing in my relationship, or the most clever.
W sends me a text saying the letter has come with two kisses on it. Hmmm...decide not to text back. Picks me up from station and we go off to pick up SD from boyfriends. W asked if I got her text. I just said yes. That was it.
We got home and I read the letter. It has some stuff in about my W citing irreconcilable differences and that we are going to sell the family home etc. to pay off our debts and that W wants to go back home with the kids.
Bearing in mind Friday's conversation, I asked if this is what she wants to do. I explain, again that this is a legal separation she is getting into that will be watched over by the court. She says it isn't, but wants to go ahead.
So then, using all my self belief, said I would go along with it, if that's what she wanted, but I wouldn't make it easy for her. Sharp intake of breath, I continued that I was going to get my own bank account, take myself off the joint account and that I would pay half of everything.
Instant spewfest! She said I couldn't do that (I can), that I had agreed that wouldn't happen until she left (no) and that she wouldn't be able to afford it (should have thought of that eh?). After telling me she f****** hated me and that she would be talking to her L she seemed visibly upset.
She then said she wouldn't be picking me up from the station anymore (I'll live) and that I couldn't use the car anymore because it's in her name (fair enough).
Then I noticed she'd taken down our wedding photos and she told me she had an estate agent coming on Friday. I asked if we were buying separate presents for our S's birthday, but she isn't talking to me.
So. There we go. Thoughts? She is so angry, it'll take her days to come down from that. Have I done right? She said in the spewfest she wanted to get the f*** away from me as soon as possible. I replied by saying I need somebody who loves me. Was that the right thing to do?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hi buddy. I'll respond later when I get a few to a real computer. Be brave and don't be confrontational. Stay out of her way right now and let her cool down.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
So remember I'm not a vet here so take what I say with a pinch of salt.
Originally Posted By: Huddy
Hi NDY
I've either just done the most stupid thing in my relationship, or the most clever.
W sends me a text saying the letter has come with two kisses on it. Hmmm...decide not to text back. Picks me up from station and we go off to pick up SD from boyfriends. W asked if I got her text. I just said yes. That was it.
Ok, small temp check and you didn't rise to it. good.
Quote:
We got home and I read the letter. It has some stuff in about my W citing irreconcilable differences and that we are going to sell the family home etc. to pay off our debts and that W wants to go back home with the kids.
Standard stuff. That's ok. The house isn't on the market yet and you haven't agreed to how this will progress. Remember you have just as much say in this.
Quote:
Bearing in mind Friday's conversation, I asked if this is what she wants to do. I explain, again that this is a legal separation she is getting into that will be watched over by the court. She says it isn't, but wants to go ahead.
Believe nothing of what they say and 50% of what they do. Tomorrow or the next day or next week she may well feel different.
Quote:
So then, using all my self belief, said I would go along with it, if that's what she wanted, but I wouldn't make it easy for her. Sharp intake of breath, I continued that I was going to get my own bank account, take myself off the joint account and that I would pay half of everything.
Ok, bit of a miss fire here. It's that you won't stand in her way. Making things difficult is just being argumentative and she won't want you telling her she is wrong. I'd go ahead and get the seperate accounts though.
Quote:
Instant spewfest! She said I couldn't do that (I can), that I had agreed that wouldn't happen until she left (no) and that she wouldn't be able to afford it (should have thought of that eh?). After telling me she f****** hated me and that she would be talking to her L she seemed visibly upset.
Ok, let her talk to her L. She's angry. Angry is better than apathetic. It means she still feels something. Anyway you do this on your terms, not hers. But don't be mean.
Quote:
She then said she wouldn't be picking me up from the station anymore (I'll live) and that I couldn't use the car anymore because it's in her name (fair enough).
Actually no, it's just as much your car as hers. She can't stop you from using it.
Quote:
Then I noticed she'd taken down our wedding photos and she told me she had an estate agent coming on Friday. I asked if we were buying separate presents for our S's birthday, but she isn't talking to me.
That's a bad idea. Don't hurt your S by doing this. I'd speak to her as this will confuse S no end. Co parenting means you still have to work together. It's acutaly a good in road.
Quote:
So. There we go. Thoughts? She is so angry, it'll take her days to come down from that. Have I done right? She said in the spewfest she wanted to get the f*** away from me as soon as possible. I replied by saying I need somebody who loves me. Was that the right thing to do?
Nooooo. Now you're coming across as needy. You need to be detached and aloof.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
