8 months of DBing in the threads above. But I'm not giving up on my marriage and my lovely wife! No way!
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I'm copying Wonka's post here so we don't have to go back to Part 8. As I'm sure you all know, if I use the "quote" function on the forum, it will place it in my last thread. To get the whole picture of my recent sitch events, they are all in the last 3 pages of Part 8.
So, Wonka's post from ealier today:
"Bob,
Ignore the ugly, embrace the positives. That is how Ms. Wonka and I slowly reconnected...through common interests and using humor.
I would respond to W's email/text. Your goal is to be supportive and warm toward W. Reemmber W's main complaints about you were uncaring and overly critical. You need to use those opportunities to showcase a new, improved Bob.
W,
Yeah, I am so thrilled for Blackhawks...about time! What a thrilling series.
Drats about pancreatitis...ugh that cannot be fun at all. Hope you're better by now. How wonderful that SName is going to college...how exciting for him. I can imagine that you must be very proud of him. I am too for all he's accomplished up to now.
Sure, I can send out the items. Knife?? Are you chasing bears in your backyard?? Ha!
Have a good day.
Bob
This isn't about being a Mr. Nice Guy...just a courtesy."
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I'm also copying Vanilla’s post here for the same reason. I found it an interesting twist on Wonka’s golden advice and her awesome message.
"I agree 100% with Wonka. I love her responses. A little validation on the illness too and " it's difficult when you have that sort of health issue".
Only suggestion that I would make is split the text.
Quick response on the hawks as advised followed with, I can check on your other things and respond in a couple of days.
Then a second text, with a cheery word on her stuff.
There are a number of reasons. Firstly you weren't phased by WAW were you? Cool cat, no probs of course, only we know differently.
Secondly, you did put down that phone.
Thirdly it's her stuff, people love their stuff. Pack it well, treat with respect and care, add a couple of small extras she left too. A nail varnish? A favourite cup? A scarf that you accidentally came across of hers. That says things about you.
Oh yes, this is the first time she's asked? Consider the postage cost a small investment in the future. It's not perusing, it's responding. Then wait.
Slowly..........
You have the time.
You catch more bees with honey than vinegar.
V"
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I couldn’t agree with you more, I sure did. I’ll keep the PMA going, and you please do the same.
Thanks for the encouragement and stopping by.
Your friend,
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Where would you suggest I write about her son (my step-son)? In the first text, right after the Hawks reply. I loved the way Wonka had those together.
Thank you!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Before V's suggestion, this is exactly what I was going to send, probably tomorrow:
"Yes, I am so thrilled for the Blackhawks...about time. What an epic series! Darn it about the pancreatitis...ugh, that’s no fun at all. Hope you're better by now. How wonderful that (S) is going to (W's college)...how exciting for him. I can imagine that you must be very proud of him. I am, too, for all he's accomplished up to now. Sure, I can send out the items. Knife?? Are you chasing bears in the backyard?? Ha! Have a good day. Bob"
I'm confused where to break it off? After the line about my stepson and then add "I can check on your things and respond in a couple of days." I do think it helps to not look to anxious to drop everything I'm doing. That's why I liked V's idea.
Also, V suggested adding a few things that are here she may like to have. I had the same thought! Question: What about the Paul McCartney CD I bought her? If you don't recall, I bought it because it's one W always mentioned she wanted and we both forgot about it thru the years. Wonka had suggested sending W something that only I know she would enjoy/appreciate but not for a special occassion. I was going to send it under the premise of Sir Paul's b-day, which was yesterday. I got the CD last Friday and then the "vicious" text from W the same day so the group decided I should not send it. I did not.
My fear is she might think I bought it AFTER she made this request for her stuff, and it will come across as me pursuing or trying to buy her love back. Addding a few items she already had here and may have forgotten about I think she'll love. She may never admit to me but that's ok. It will make me feel good.
However I work this I have to use Wonka's line about the knife and a bear. It fits perfectly with my W's sense of humor. Better still, it sounds like something I would say. I do recall W saying one of the things she fell in love with me over was my sense of humor.
So, I'm very close, but still a little lost.
I have time on my side. There have been times where my W hasn't responded to me for 2-3 weeks, not that I want to act like that. I want to do what's right for her.
It's interesting to me. One week ago, I truly put our sitch in God's hands and let him know I want what's best for W and makes her happy. Nothing to do with my feelings, I let Him know I will be ok either way as long as He is always in my life.
Take care all.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
