this will take me a year digest. I certainly can't claim to have been abused at the same magnitude that you have experienced, however I recognise so many of those abusive behaviours from your lists. Maybe they were not fully abusive, merely signs of an unhealthy R.
W's biggest control over me was definitely "grooming". Gradually over the last 3 years I became unresponsive to that tactic. And I am starting to believe she has moved onto a R where she can exert that control anew. At BD I didn't see it this way. I thought the periods of "grooming" was the healthy R, in-between was the problem and these groomings just became less frequent, and then finally stopped.
In hindsight the suggested pattern of "abuse" is obvious to me everywhere in our 12 years together, and it was to my family as well - but I never "listened" to them.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
