Morning V - I haven't posted lately on your thread....but I do follow along and am pleased to see what progress you are making. I can't believe that your WH had an online dating account all the way through your M. Like, he would marry, but still keep his options open and hope to pick up someone else??
I think he may have a void that he believes a continuous string of women may fill perhaps? It is a shame, because really he is perpetuating the void by not truly committing to anyone and having a fulfilling monogamous R. His loss I think...
So, August is the month you file. I just wanted to send my very best wishes, and wish you luck with this next stage. It is good that you have taken control - in this and many other areas of your life - and can look forward to better times once things are resolved.
Take care lovely V xx
Thanks Toots I keep up with your sitch too and I seem to follow you around the board agreeing!
My original date for LRT was March 2015 and for dark the end of May 2015. LRT never happened and there was a spell breaker on 2 May, a month early. I gave myself dark on my birthday 11 May, my freedom day. Since then it's been clearance, WH things out of the big House by end June and restructure business by end July and pay WH off, that cash gets transferred today, I set it up with the bank when I drew out some money from my pension pot. I met my deadlines and am determined to meet the next ones.
I could have been a WAW and if I had known in March 2014 about the dating site then I would have walked, I stayed and DB instead, and I do not regret one single day of it, not one, without that I would be locked in myself. This journey has done me great personal favour although the futile wish the outcome was different is a waste of headspace. This journey is for me, selfi centred of course. The faster WH is gone from my head the better.
As yet I don't know if WH actually posted on the site only that he had a presence there and he bragged about it to acquaintances. Duh! If I can prove this then my L says I can get an annulment which means my M was wiped clean and does not exist at all. As if it never happened there is precedent for it and I have witness statements to his pronouncements. It is no wonder that most of my friends have rallied.
Then WH can go whistle his sweet lies to another and legally it never happened this sham M.
Any further revelations to come about WH? Nothing would surprise me, it's sad for him that he has to be this way, so awful to have such a dark shadow on your soul. My love for WH isn't dead despite all but it's bitter sweet. Not my concern any longer there are better places to go and new things to learn, people to meet and joys to know.
Precious Toots, I want you to be happy and your life to be renewed.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 08/01/1508:03 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thank you SO much for the kind words,V. Your post made me smile and tear up. Molly DOES have an ever-wagging tail. It goes ALL the time. I even catch her wagging it in her sleep on occasion and that always makes me smile. We are definitely waving at you and walking slowly for you to catch up to us, as we know you will!
I, too, hope Rotary allows our paths to cross in the future. It would be a really wonderful and amazing thing.
You are helpful to me, too, V. Just so you know. You inspire me to be strong, confident and not take any crap from anyone. You inspire me to want to go out and GAL and just live life with a passion and gusto for everything I encounter. I thank you for being that positive role model. You are an amazing lady. And, Molly wags in agreement.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I love the theme of this new thread. You know sometimes work is a part of GAL. I found for me having my job to throw myself into sometimes really helped. My coworkers also have been a great support over the last couple of years. Sometimes just having something else to have to focus on helps. I have become more involved in my career sine my split. I didn't have the time to do some of the things I am able to do now because I felt I needed to be home more. Now I suit myself and I have enjoyed the growth in my career.
Thanks for always checking in. Knowing you would be is one of the reasons I always think I better go in and check in! Lol
Staying strong together helps us all cope through these trying times. Thinking of you with much love V.
Hugs
Karma
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
I am sorry to hear what you continue to discover about WH - I am experiencing these layers of deceit as well.
Hello V! I echo U-Turn's sentiment. I am sending positive thoughts your way and will add a prayer for you tonight.
xoxo
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
The business will not run without WW. They can hire someone to do what I do. The problem is I worked for 7 yrs without a pay check. I only drew distributions. The business is just now taking off. Now she wants to cut me out. We started the business together. It is just as much mine as it is hers. It seems timed everything perfectly and I do not think it is coincidence. As soon as she thought she was financially independent she went off the handle. She started prepping for her exit and had an A at the same time. I do not know what will happen. I believe she will have to buy me out or continue to pay me distributions.
We will have a financial hearing next month and the judge will put out a temporary order. This is going to be a complex case so I hope the judge is able to keep pace with all the information.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
I am proud of you. Not there yet myself, I realize I am wrestling with accepting it is over and no other outcome is possible. Started a new thread. You told me you sensed I had struggles up ahead, and it's amazing what you see from all the way over there.
Please post, I hope you are getting ahead and handling the business as you need to. (I am going to take my lead from you and get my head out of where it's been and put it somewhere more urgent and practical.)
Much love to you, some day I'm going to make good on my threat to show up at a train station and enjoy some real cheese and wine with you, and we'll go out and dance.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
Hello V!! Just checking in with you! I sensed some great strength from your last post. Good for you! I am glad financials are getting straightened out. It feels good I am sure. Plus paying WH off! I know I am faced with some of this myself. I am getting close to paying off some of the bills from STBXW. I was very helpful with her stuff. Or maybe too gullible! Good things are coming for us my friend!! I can feel it!!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
