Sandi2's 37 Rules

[Mars]

Depression?? Are you saying that WW was depressed and that is why she is so cold?





Answered on Mars' thread - Cadet

[Live15]

What if your spouse is friendly and wants to do things with you "as a friend," but "the relationship as man-and-wife" is "over"?



Good question, ciluzen. I have the same question. My husband asks me all kinds of questions about my day. I'm not sure how much to give him.

[Chris82]

I would agree on the bar scene. I've been separated for a month from my wife. I went to a bar once, and had my fortitude tested on the first night. Luckily I feel convicted in handling this separation properly and with integrity, but it felt nice to have a someone find you interesting and attractive, however that person was not my spouse and that is territory I will not entertain.

[sandi2]

What if your spouse is friendly and wants to do things with you "as a friend," but "the relationship as man-and-wife" is "over"?

Are you satisfied being just a friend and ready to put the idea of ever being man & wife behind you? If you are, then be her "friend". However, know up front that your idea of what kind of friendship you'll have....and her idea of friendship, will be completely mismatched. Anyone can be her friend. Only one person can be her spouse. You decide.

[sandi2]

So, after reading the rules and trying to apply them, I still have a question about talking to my spouse. He has moved out and I am not texting or calling him, just answering and trying to be upbeat. He asks lots of questions about my day which, when I try to be brief, he asks more. I don't want to cut him off or be cold. Also, is it okay to ask him how he's doing since he is asking me? Is this still pursuing, and if so, is that so bad if one of his complaints is that he felt that I did 't love him, merely tolerated him?

I haven't read your sitch, so I don't know the details. Up front, I would say that you can answer his contacts and continue to be warm and friendly. Answer any questions and talk about your day, as though he were a neighbor. However, don't reveal too much about your private moments, your feelings/emotions, and especially GAL. I think you can do the same (to an extent), for sake of not appearing mad, cold/mean. Like I said, I don't know about your situation, so I am taking a little chance in saying it. During his call, when he asks about your day, give him an answer and then casually ask about his.....but don't get detailed and don't continue "digging". Don't try to keep him talking in order to hang on to his time or attention. That is the point behind it, is not to appear clingy and desperate.

[npmyst]

Hi Sandi2!!!

Can you please look at my situation here and provide sound advice? Of course, when you have the time . Thank you so much!!!

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...nt=2&page=1

[J5K]

I have a WAW. On 11/30 she left me and our 5 boys and went back to her parent's to live. I filed on 12/8 but want to save the M for my family.

Edit

I have a WAW. On 11/30 she left me and our 5 boys and went back to her parent's to live. I filed on 12/8 but want to save the M for my family.

Please start your own thread

[Cadet]

How do I do that?

How to start a thread

I will use what Job wrote

First click on Newcomers

Go to the top of the screen and there is a new topic box on the left hand side. Click on it and then you will open the window to create a new subject as well as a posting. It's the same way that you created this thread.

Plus How to link your threads

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2588047#Post2588047

[rich4j]

Quick Question on this:

She is running fast towards Divorce...I am posting on the newcomer board.

But there are so many good articles on why not to divorce, the selfishness, how bad it is for the kids (they are not resilient!), etc..
I found a bunch of articles around why you shouldnt divorce

I was thinking about sending these to my W to read ...is that taboo?

[Sotto]

Hi Rich, sending articles is definitely not recommended. She is not going to be receptive to any information from you just now - quite the opposite I'm afraid. Use what you read for your own benefit going forwards...

Take care