Get busy...write out personal goals for yourself, watch a movie, drink a glass of wine. Positive focus...on really bad nights, I take Benadryl...get 2-3 hours sleep with that. Nights are so awful!
JudyL you're the best! wish we could have a glass of wine together
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
I'm near Austin, TX....let me know if you're ever nearby.
Lawyers...I went hunting for a female. I read recommendations, did several search comparisons. Try to find a lawyer that other lawyers use. With all the research I did, the first lawyer I met with was wonderful. Try to find one with 12 or more years experience.
Seems only worse. H has not called or sent an email message or a Skype message even for just the kids. He also deactivated his FB account that he used to contact me.
Screw him. I'm so angry. He wants to flit off to South America and live his fantasy life ( which many a co-worker has done successfully and never come back) then that's just great-have at it. But he has children that shouldn't be abandoned.
I'm definitely concerned about the financial end of this. We rely mostly on his paychecks to live. He doesn't make much but I make little by comparison. And everything is in a joint account. Thing is, even though I have complete access and I'm the one paying the bills, his checks are direct deposit and at any time he can change what bank he want his money sent to.
No good lawyer recommendations from the few people I've talked to. Crap. I'm scared.
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
I'm near Austin, TX....let me know if you're ever nearby.
Lawyers...I went hunting for a female. I read recommendations, did several search comparisons. Try to find a lawyer that other lawyers use. With all the research I did, the first lawyer I met with was wonderful. Try to find one with 12 or more years experience.
Hope that helps a bit.
Internet searches?
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
Lost - just caught up on your situation. You are not alone with your feelings of sadness and sorrow, trying to sort your life and children's. I am not wise with words, but offer a ton of support. The children and I have also recently been left by an international WAS. It is hard to pick up the pieces of my own life, let alone the lives of the children. The children don't understand why he must leave the country to sort his life.
Yep, he is being Mr. Selfish! But the kids need a mom who can keep herself together. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself what you need to heal and feel whole.
You didn't break him and you can't fix him. These are his demons that he is trying to sort.
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
Lost - just caught up on your situation. You are not alone with your feelings of sadness and sorrow, trying to sort your life and children's. I am not wise with words, but offer a ton of support. The children and I have also recently been left by an international WAS. It is hard to pick up the pieces of my own life, let alone the lives of the children. The children don't understand why he must leave the country to sort his life.
Yep, he is being Mr. Selfish! But the kids need a mom who can keep herself together. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself what you need to heal and feel whole.
[/color] I feel so broken and like such a mess. I don't know what I need to heal. Or how to feel whole. How do I begin to figure that out?
You didn't break him and you can't fix him. These are his demons that he is trying to sort.
[color:#000099] It seems it's so easy for them to start over with zero consequences when they can flit out of country. I believe my H thinks he'll just keep coming back to "visit" the kids and then return to his new life and everything will be just hunky dory. I mean, he's traveled for my son's entire life and most of my daughter's, so really what's the difference if he moves on? He hasn't been around for so many things. Once he's fully established with OW, the only difference for him coming back here would be if he didn't live with us.
Will he ever feel the loss?
TY for posting. Your support means so much.
Praying for you, too.
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
How do I begin to figure that out?