Been down for the count the past 3.5 days due to a bad cold. Stress, lack of sleep, allergies, and too much having finally got to me. Starting to feel better and should be back to exercising tomorrow. I still managed to get in 2-3 miles of walking, but I need at least a few days of high intensity workouts to help manage stress.
Today I watch a tear-jerker and cried like a big baby through the whole movie. Between my cold and the movie I think I went through a box of Kleenex in a couple of hours. The movie just ended up making me feel like a failure with my M. Thought I had found that special someone that I would be with to the end and just realized that at some point my H decided I was no longer special to him. That is the part of the A that cuts the deepest. I try to stop and take a look from my H's perspective anytime I start to dwell in my hurt. So, I did/do acknowledge that not maintaining a healthy and active sex life made my H feel insignificant. Had moments of longing for reconciliation, but H is not in a place he is healthy enough for that. Not to mention that I think he has let himself detach so much that he sees no way back. Makes me angry at myself that I still contemplate this. I am sure being stuck at home and sick helped this thought process.
Next week I have a Meetup and a happy hour with friends. Plan to get back on track with eating and sleeping properly. Like others, I need a serious revisit of my goals this week as well so I can refocus. Just feel I have been stretched too thin and have taken my eye off of the ball.
I do need opinions. My H wants to finish working on one of the bathrooms. This project was started last February and has just been dormant the entire year as he was preoccupied with OW. It is torn all apart at this stage. He wants to finish it because it will affect the appraisal on the house. Since I want to buy him out of the house, I have incentive to say no. I bought all of the supplies ( he wasn't really working fulltime last year) for the remodel and they are here in the house. I would just have to pay someone to come in and do it. I think that would be much less than added appraisal value. Any thoughts on how to respond that is DB worthy? At this point I have just said we need to discuss it further. Am I being an a$$ for even thinking of saying no??
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Sorry you weren't feeling well...glad your getting better.
I see no reason why he can't work on things.. It is still his house too.
Hell he might even be looking for an excuse to do things for you or try to start on a road home... IDK.
I know that for a while, I was so pissed at my wife cause my needs were not being met, I stopped finishing things. It was part of the whole keeping score scenario with expectations. Part of me fixing myself was trying to male sure.I followed through with things I said I would do.
Yes, I knew right after I posted what the right thing to do with regards to the bathroom. No allowing it would be out of bitterness. I don't want to be that kind of XW.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
BT - your comment about bitterness hit home. My L told me how proud he is of me as his client because I have carried myself with grace and dignity through out this whole process when I never wanted it in the first place. Choose grace over bitterness, it's much more attractive
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
This, for the reminder EP. For the most part I think I have done well. I just slip up every once in a while and need a 4 x 4. Good on you for taking the high road!!
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
I see I'm the odd woman out... I would hire someone to get it done to avoid uncomfortable interactions and arguments, and just say, 'No, you shouldn't have to do that in this situation'. But it's a good point that rejecting his offer could be a bad thing. I hope it will go smoothly and it won't be upsetting to you!
Glad you're feeling better. No wonder you got sick from all this stress and travel!
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Painter, he plans to do the majority of it while I am away visiting my family in Chicago for Thanksgiving, so I should not have to worry about that so much.
Looking forward to tonight. Things are finally speeding up with my arts committee. We are going to discuss which educational art grants we want to give to schools in the community.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
