It's ok, Ancaire. We ARE human and sometimes you'll take a few steps back before going forward again. Bring the focus back around to you and be kind to yourself today.
You're doing great! Look at how far you've come. Celebrate that alone. What are you doing today for yourself?
xoxo
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
You made me laugh! I'm sorry. You were being honest but it resonated so deeply with where I am that I laughed. I'm totally moping and trying to fight it every second. <3
Go, get out of the house. Come back and clean in a little bit.
I'm here with you.
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
I understand the hurt even though its a good thing- the kids shouldn't be taking sides and should have a relationship with their Dad. So it is good. But it still hurts.
My D14 is really upset with H, she really hates him. And trust me when I tell you that you don't want that either.
Hang in there, Judy, you are awesome. And about the juice, I have a vita mixer and it was still sludge. I think I might start with store bought juices and work my way up to home made. I watched the documentary Fat Sick and Nearly Dead and that motivated me. I am physically, emotionally, and any other way you can think of exhausted from this whole experience, and I need to go back to the basics- good nutrition, good sleep, regular exercise, church, friends, reading. Self care. I was burning myself out with GAL, so I am approaching it in a smarter way now
Lost - I don't blame you for laughing. It's kind of funny in a brutally honest kind of way. LOL
Photo - I'm very interested in that documentary. Where did you find it? I am fat, sick, and nearly dead...and want to resolve the situation asap.
WHAT??? What kind of way is that to talk about yourself? Goodness gracious, Ancaire! No pity party.
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
I am fat, sick, and nearly dead...and want to resolve the situation asap.
I can help you fix this immediately, not a problem.
Just put a great big NOT right up in there after the word "am". Now read that out loud
Eat healthier and exercise if you want a healthier lifestyle, but no fixing these things ASAP. Nice slow and steady growth is the only way to help all three of those issues.
Backslides are normal. You are setting yourself up for failure if you expect zero backslides from yourself. You wont ruin everything by backsliding, even though it feels like it.
I think you should give yourself 30 more minutes to wallow, and make sure you wallow like no one has ever wallowed before! Then pick yourself up and do something for you. Anything, get a haircut, buy a flower, take a walk and sing only show tunes softly the whole time, lol. Anything that will make you smile just a tiny bit.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
I just found out that H and kids are all out together. My suspicions were correct, but the reason was wrong. I find I'm incredibly hurt by this for some reason. The kids have always been close to their dad, but he's the one who screwed it all up...not me.
Your H was out with your kids and not as you seemed to think earlier out with OW and you are upset?
Your kids will eventually understand who was the baddy in all this, it'll take some time and is potentially one of the things you could discuss at Retrouvaille later this month.
You are right to have doubt about your husband's motives until he truly proves through consistent action what he is trying to achieve. Judging him and second guessing might end up pi$$ing him off and you'll be back to square one pretty quickly.
Relax, let things be for a while, allow life to happen there's a lot of positive at the moment so stop thinking it could all go wrong, PMA works, right?
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
You both made me smile. You are also correct. Just one of those not so great kind of days I guess.
I have resolved NOT to discuss anything potentially upsetting with H until we begin counseling, and I plan to take it slowly even then. I'm in a much better place than I was this time last month. H is sleeping at home AND he talks to me. Not the way he used to, but better than nothing or fighting.
I'm content to let things settle a bit. I doubt I will get over being suspicious anytime soon, but I don't have to act on it.
This will take TIME. It's also a good time for me to be okay and comfortable with patience. I'll see if I can find anything online about developing that particular skill.
