It just hit me it's been October since I posted anything! Geez. Things get busy around here. I hope everyone's had a wonderful Christmas and New Year.
We are still together...I wish I knew what this was called....limbo? We're living this roommate arrangement almost. She's demonstrably more stable; she started IC a few months ago and it's been fantastic for her.
Things almost seem normal most of the time and we get along fantastically, but the intimacy is gone. We just can't seem to connect in that way. We get along, we're polite, we do things as a couple and as a family, but it really feels just like a roommate situation.
I don't know how long to keep this up. I don't know if it's hopeless. She says she's invested and wants to keep things together, but she doesn't give. She seems to expect me to twist in the wind indefinitely while she figures things out. How long am I supposed to invest in this? I personally don't think that once you've lost that attraction to someone that you can get it back, but she seems to want to hold on. When I question whether this is worth it or not, she accuses me of wanting to bolt. Well, yeah, sometimes I do. I'd love it if she woke up tomorrow morning and wanted me again (she wants to want me ), but I don't want to wast the next 5 - 10 years of my life hoping she comes around.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I don't know how long to keep this up. I don't know if it's hopeless. She says she's invested and wants to keep things together, but she doesn't give. She seems to expect me to twist in the wind indefinitely while she figures things out. How long am I supposed to invest in this? I personally don't think that once you've lost that attraction to someone that you can get it back, but she seems to want to hold on. When I question whether this is worth it or not, she accuses me of wanting to bolt. Well, yeah, sometimes I do. I'd love it if she woke up tomorrow morning and wanted me again (she wants to want me confused ), but I don't want to wast the next 5 - 10 years of my life hoping she comes around.
NH - I'm glad you came back for an update. Reintroducing intimacy has to be difficult. Have you thought about taking on a coach to help you through? You are close, she is committed. It certainly isn't her against you. Don't get frustrated. Try a different method to reach her and she her that you want her.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Glad to see an update. I continue to pray for you and yours. Hope all continues to go well.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Now might be the time for seduction. You have nothing left to lose and a lot to gain.
A coach might help you with this to break the pattern. My suspicion is that once you and W connect then a big shift will have happened. RH you are so patient and my prayers are with you.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Vanilla and Dawn, I'm so happy to see you on here.
Yes it's frustrating because I feel like we're close, yet so far. She on one hand swears she's invested and wants to work on us, yet she's admitted on more than one occasion that she's still "working through" her feelings for OM.
15 months in?
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
), but I don't want to wast the next 5 - 10 years of my life hoping she comes around.