I started here on your 2nd thread. I may have to snag "12 Lessons Learned In 12 Years Of Marriage" too. I personally fell short here on many items.
Your post "Things I know 2 months after day zero:". Your sarcastic comments are FUNNY! My WW's OM is the complete opposite of me. Wish I had sarcastic mindset..
Like you, my WW said similar things to me "I did not expect you to wait around for me". Stay strong.
Like the other day she said she missed me so much several times.
She has been flirting with me.
She says being around me right now is confusing.
she says im not off on picking up on these things, but that it is just way too soon.
I know that this can be a form of control. So I am not taking it too seriously, and trying to view it without attaching too much emotionally.
I hope it isn't just her having second thoughts and working through them until ultimately she has no feelings for me. But I suppose that is a possibility I have to consider.
To me I suppose the a big sign would be her saying she wants me back or wants to work on us, or something along those lines.
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
I don't know if you should read too much into what she's saying or her flirting. There are so many reasons why she could be doing that, but it's not helpful to focus on that.
Your right though, if she truly wanted you back she would make it happen.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
yeah dropped the daughter off today and it was all gone, she was cold as ice again... meh. It is what it is. Glad I didn't set my expectations too high! Would have crushed me last month.
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
Going to move the last of my stuff out of the old house today, tomorrow is the last day of our lease. She will be there too. Wish me luck! Peace and love DB family
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
at the house yesterday, for the first 2-3 hours we were cordial and distant from each other. she asked about having some money. I explained why I only gave her what I did. I could tell it bothered her, but she said she understood.
then she left to drop stuff off at her place. i finished clearing everything out while she was gone, and had my truck filled to go to the dump. i said everything is done, can you just vacuum and then we are good. she said yeah thats fine. i said ill see you around and walked out.
her car was blocking me in, so I went back inside to ask her to move it and she had tears in her eyes, and smiled when she saw me. And said ''damn, i thought that was all you where going to say and it was super cold.'' I laughed and said what do you expect? she said she understood why i had left like that. Then we started talking, she asked me a lot about how I feel. We talked about things that happened and how we got to that point etc etc.
One thing that stood out is that she classified what happened between us as me emotionally abusing her... I had never thought it had gotten to that point... but I understand her view on it. It just makes the hurdle that much higher to jump.
she looked at me like she used to look at me when we first met. (I don't care what people say, I know the look) she said she misses me so much. that she is so confused. because she had gotten to the point of hating me. she says she still loves me, but cant act on it because she has to remember why she left. and has to work on herself still. that she cant work on herself and a marriage right now. She said she sees a man fighting for his marriage. She said she hopes I can find the strength to be the man I need to be.
I said I had to go. And we went in for a hug at the same time. And ended up holding each other. She said she missed me again. We pulled apart and she said she wanted to kiss me, but she cant. She then said, we can ''hang out'' soon. And that she'll let me know.
Not sure about all this. I am pretty detached right now. So my hopes are not too high.
She called to today freaking about money, and I got her to calm down. She said she was so scared of how shes going to take care of herself. I said I was sorry, and that I understood why it could be so frightening. But that she made the choice to live like this. I said I could stop by and drop off some things of hers tonight, with some cash I have for her. And she said no, that she was having some ''friends'' over.
this did crush me a little bit. But still feeling pretty confident about where I am going. I have started talking to a few different girls. Its a little weird, but definitely feels good to go ''on the hunt'' again :P
Going downtown for Halloween tonight, pretty excited. Not going to drink! And I actually have not had a drink for two weeks now! Go me
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
Had a really good Halloween. Actually talked to and was given a girls number. Felt a little awkward at first but we had a really good conversation. I told her I enjoyed talking but I wasn't looking for anything but she said we should still text felt good hahaha.
went to church with my daughter today, caught up with the family.
Something that caught my attention, was that we shouldn't be afraid to ask or try to get anything and everything we want. Its all waiting there for us to take. We just have to have the courage and the drive to take it.
It stood out, because a recurring theme for me has been this fear. That holds me back from a lot of things. And I'm coming to realize that it is an illusion. There is literally nothing to be afraid of. Certain things (like rattlesnakes) should be respected but not feared.
And as I write this, my stbexw? just texted me saying she wants to spend time with me... not sure how to proceed >.> Light, positive, breezy attitude, but what to do.
help me! haha
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
Hi HH, what I should also have said is I would be doubly cautious if there is an OP somewhere on the scene...
I only met up with H once since BD (a month or so later). We had a lovely time - went for a walk, linked arms, chatted, laughed. At the end of our visit, we had a long hug and I told him to take care, pecked him on the lips - it was all really poignant. He texted me later and said thanks for the hug. Next time we spoke he told me he still felt swept away by me, wanted to hold my hand and be romantic with me. I told him that he and I were not and would not be in a R whilst he continued to see an OW.
He continued with the A and just weeks later was ordering sexy books on Amazon. He also visited OW abroad just a week after we had met up, so I presume that trip was already planned and he never said. My H's was a full PA though and may well be different. I guess all I'm saying is she may present one face to you, but what is going on in the background may well not be something you're prepared to live with....and why would you want to spend time with her if that's the case?
Take care my friend
Last edited by Sotto; 11/02/1510:44 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
