So, I finally decided to talk about kid's dream about OW to the X face to face. Talking about it through text is just so akward.
Before I picked kid up, I made sure to freshen up, put on some blusher and perfume. Put on a racer tank and some really short running shorts. He may be the X but I didn't want him thinking 'That was the cow I married?'
He had already arrived when I got to the driveway. Told him I wanted to talk and asked kid to play on the swing. I was going to speak to him with him in the car as he hates it when I want to talk to him. Thought I would make it quick and painless.
Kid refused to play at the swings as it was dark but surprise, surprise. The X suggested that he parked the car and that I should take kid up to the apartment first.
We took quite some time and 2nd surprise of the night, the X wasn't angry that I took so long. He was on the swing and I took the seat opposite him. Any contact with him while he's with the OW sickens me, whether we're divorced or not.
Asked him for help with kid later in the month. We talked a little about the schedule.
Then I moved in for the kill. Told him about kid's dream about the OW showering in the apartment, how scared she felt and how she was reluctant to go back to the old apartment.
And 3rd surprise of the night. I was unflinchingly calm and civil. X had to look away and his eyes were red. He had this little smirk on his face that he always has when he didn't know what to say. He didnt blow up at me and he didnt deny.
Things were getting awkward so I asked him to get back to me again on whether he could help with kid. I had started walking away because my composure was crumbling. He said yes to my back. And this is so uncool but I was concentrating so hard on walking away that I couldn't stop to acknowledge his answer.
But hey, at least he got to see my new and improved figure from the back. And he watched for quite a while before he got into the car and drove off.
A few minutes after he left, he texted to ask if he could have kid one of the weekdays and if kid could stay over at his place before or after that.
I am thinking of asking him to wait till school breaks for the holidays since we're still paying full fees for this month. Will answer him in a while.
Last edited by Grlonfr; 12/06/1501:06 PM.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Glad that we can co-parent civilly and that the X has kid so often. It frees up time for me to look for my new apartment.
If he keeps this up, I might just forgive him for the TP. But not before I snag the cute younger guy.
I could still see the glimpses of the man I fell in love with, and I still like his strong brows and brown eyes. But he is feeling more and more like a stranger that I used to know.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
No reply from the X. No way he could have missed my message because he was using his phone.
This is the new reality and I just have to get used to it.
He didn't say if he was picking kid up from school and I don't want to ask him. Getting rather annoyed as he would tell me the schedule in the prior week and then remind me again on the day itself.
I have given specific instructions to the school that I am the only authorised person to pick kid up unless I told them otherwise.
Should I be all business and tell the school that I would be picking kid up?
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
The ex -fil called to ask to meet up. He kept asking me if I had spoken to the X.
Starting to feel uneasy. Are they trying to ask that I not be so strict about kid's NC with the OW? Non- negotiable until kid is at least a few years older and can fend for herself. Anyway,the court counsellor had suggested that any OP not be introduced to kid until 2 years after the D. I am definitely keeping count.
Are they going to tell me that he's getting married?
Anyway, cleared my workspace at work today and I was so proud of myself.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I would be prepared for anything as far as the meetup.
If it's about the OP I would stick to the court decision for now as that is a more objective, external source and you can simply say you agree with the court, but are willing to re-evaluate in 6 months or something.
I know it's hard to be prepared but also not to assume the worst in advance. But that will just put added stress on you.
"Are they going to get married?" Slow down a little there, lol. Whatever it is, good or bad, it's not going to help you to obsess and work yourself up over. You're strong enough and capable of handling whatever it will be fine.
I think the 2 years seems to be completely reasonable and I've thought about it myself. It doesn't put your own feelings into the mix since it's what's best for kid and X should be able to see that. At some point in the future (2 years down the road) you will have to accept they may interact but cross that bridge when you come to it. Their relationship may not even last that long so no reason to obsess over it.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
