Things you should never ask a recently divorced person: How are you? Especially if you are expecting a chirpy, "Wow, I feel fantastic and I have never felt better. I don't understand why I didnt do this earlier!"
Seriously? I mean seriously?
Ok. End of rant.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Having just gone through the entire house and done the trip down memory lane, I had to do it in small batches. Makes it easier to stop and put away a small amount of stuff if things get too heavy.
On the other hand you sound amazingly strong, I see a lot of myself in you. And I have every faith and feeling that no matter what happens- you're gonna come out on top! (Maybe in more than one way )
I saw a quote that was something along the line of one day I'll be what you need, but don't wait too long- cause that may be the day I've finally given up.
Makes a lot of sense to me.
And the thing of the ovaries playing games, mine do the same.. It ain't fair girl- and it ain't easy
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
tl2, I will have to do the decluttering in batches, like you suggested. And then I still have to deal with the stuff at the X's. That I will leave till the last since there isn't any complaint from that corner. And that decluttering is something I am really not looking forward to.
I have to get my butt moving because any new place that I move to will have very limited storage.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I do hope I can walk through this baptism of fire... But there are days where like you, I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a very long time.
My feeling is that the X will never see me as enough. And perhaps like what you quoted, it will really have to take me getting into another relationship before he wakes up to the idea that I am no longer there.
As for the ovaries games, you really don't have to worry. You have many more years ahead of you and I am sure that you'll be able to get a worthy daddy for the babies that you want.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Speaking as a man (I think I still am, though some days...), since you're the one who filed the D, he may be partially motivated to not appear weak or may be doing his routine in order to deal with the feelings of rejection (assuming he has them).
If that's the case, being casually sociable for the kid's sake but detached internally keeps you in front of him. If he gets over/past whatever he's feeling right now, you will still be there since the kid is so young. So there's plenty of time. But since this isn't going on your timeline, you can't get impatient!
I can tell you that despite feeling rejected in small amounts by my W for several years, her announcing she was leaving seriously intensified that feeling of rejection. Honestly, although I have moved forward and am in the process of moving on, it really, really hurts if I let it or dwell on it, and it doesn't feel like it will ever go away. I know it will, and I'm going there, but I'm not there yet.
Because of all this, I don't even want to see, hear, or be around my XW, and when I am, I have the urge to be either passive-aggressive, or aggressive-aggressive (which is more my style). I'm very agitated, uncomfortable, and annoyed.
Assuming he gets to the point where he's interested again, it will likely be a while. He needs time.
Keep in mind I'm not defending him. Just how I see it, and I may be projecting too much of how I feel right now on the sitch.
I have one D, but always wanted her to have siblings. It's killing me that that won't happen. Or any siblings will come from her dad and some OW.
Decluttering [censored], it's nice afterwards but making the tough decisions is he!! under these circumstances. If my H gets his way and I have to move overseas, I'll have to leave everything here with him. I'll just have a few personal belongings, my clothes and my D's stuff. That feels weird - 15 years and nothing to show for it.
Soooo..... I can relate to wanting to stay in bed all day.
) 
