tl2, I could look into that. But have never really understood twitter though.
I'm looking at myself in the mirror and trying to figure out who I am, why I am who I am, and who I want to be.
I am not quite sure yet. I am treating me as someone I am starting to get reacquainted with after a long absence. I have seen how I can survive when I thought I couldn't.
I don't quite like how naive and emotional I can get. Passion has its uses but I must learn to manage it. Breathe and wait for things to happen. Stop the fight or flight response that I have had since childhood but have the courage to stay and make the changes that must be made.
And this is where I am hesitating. I know I cannot be so naive and trusting again but I know too that I can't go through life with a prickly armour. Have to find that balance somewhere.
I must learn that I am enough. For myself, for any other person that I may be with. I am not perfect. Not perfect is good enough. I am a work in progress. Work in progress is good enough. Even if I end up alone, I am enough.
This will be my mantra: I am enough.
And oh before I forget, retire the RBF and put on dolphin face more often.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
And this is where I am hesitating. I know I cannot be so naive and trusting again but I know too that I can't go through life with a prickly armour. Have to find that balance somewhere.
It is always a tricky balance, eh? If I ever even think about a new R with someone it's going to be a long, slow process. A lot of "trust, but verify"...and maybe even a little "verify, then trust"
Even despite my XW's lies, I had gotten to where I was willing to do what might work to build trust again. For me it actually took years...but that was because she had a long track record of lies. Of course we/I never got there, because she was never willing to do her part.
Will be a while before I think I will be able to trust someone new very much. A long while. But if I could get there with XW, I can probably get there with someone new someday...though that's so far off I can't see what that would look like.
In the meantime, I have work, kids, a couple hobbies and friends and family. Going to have to be enough for a while for me.
For me, it would be 'verify, verify, and then verify some more'!
So true, despite all that had happened, and the lies that were told to me all these years, I was willing to do what it would take to rebuild the trust and the M. Ah, but our XS just aren't there yet, are they?
I admire your courage, tl2, and I really hope that I will get there someday, and sooner rather than later, because darn it, I really want one or two more babies before the biological clock stops ticking. And because, being the studious person that I am, I really want to start putting into use all that I have learnt. Just seems such a pity to let all these new tools and knowledge go to waste.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Pho, go try extensions! It's a whole new world out there!
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself! You're not that clueless. You have lasted at least 25 years in the marriage with rather interesting ILs. I didn't even make half of your record.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Grlonfire so sorry to hear all this! What a monumental fool he's making of himself- you soon very like me. Those lash extensions are super cute. Get them done for you, treat yourself to some feel good clothes. You are worth it- and either he will realise that when the bubble bursts with he- but by that point, you may have moved on to a more worthy person. Either way, I'm sure you are gonna get there, one day at a time. Listen to some feel good tracks. Gotta love pixie Lott's cry me out
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
