Ancaire, I remember your first posts. I was really worried about you, but I think you will be ok. A lot has transpired between then and now. I think you hit your rock bottom to help propel letting go.
Painter, a comedy sounds much needed right now.
Today has been the hardest day in a really long time. Lots of sadness and tears, but I guess those will still come even if the time in between down days gets longer and longer. Off to the gym to see if I can burn this funk off.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
I know I may check in tomorrow, but in case I run out of time, I wanted to be sure and stop by long enough to send you greetings. I know this will be a rough one for you. Please know I'll be thinking of you warmly.
"I know I have apologized many times to my H, but need to start working on forgiving myself as I find I can start to put too much responsibility on me. I have to remind myself it took two of us to get here."
This resonates with me. I was on the phone the other day talking to my brother and he told me that marriages are a two way street. I acknowledged that and said that I knew that and am attempting to fix my mistakes. He said, "No E, I mean they're a two way street." I said I know...and so on. It took four tries for him to get through to me that he was talking that I was doing all the work and my H none.
I guess it's easier to take the blame because then at least I feel some control?
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
BT- I hope you had a nice Christmas! Good job on keeping your workouts going even when your boot camp leader is on vacation- it shows true dedication. Little by little these things become a habit. At this point in time, we should approach our detachment the same way! It's a mental exercise vs physical. Actively focus on the PMA- soon enough it gets easier and easier and something you'll actively seek out and practice because it will make you feel good.
Be well!
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Happy New Year!! I am just wrapping up a lovely and quiet couple of weeks off from work. I was feeling pretty burnt out with work before the break, so I am hoping that this rest will give me the jump start I need going back.
Overall, the past couple of week were very heathy....lots of rest, eating healthy, and hitting the gym. Last week I made it to the gym 5 days and this week 6. Usually after the holidays I am feeling pretty icky from over indulging, but not this year. I actually think I lost 5 lbs!! The worst of the time off was the weather. It was super cold, so going on my walks with the dog was not very enjoyable.
This week I restart an art class that I had intended to take in Oct/Nov, but it got off-track due to work travel, so they let me move it to the beginning of the year. Trying to stay focused on health and fitness as I still have some weight to take iff to get back to my healthiest self. this really does affect my confidence and positivity in a major way.
Other than that, things will start to speed up with D. I think we need to have a settlement agreement done by the end of next month. I am trying to set up appraisal on house to see if I can buy out H, but waiting to hear from H. He is really not communicating at all at this point, even though I have been pleasant whenever we have communicated the past few months. I was really stressed out about the house, but have decided to let that go to whatever the outcome will be. Either I can stay in home or I have decent equity to put in new house. Whatever will be, will be and I will make it work. We still need to go through household items and discuss dog, so I guess I will start to try and move that along next week.
The two week trip to Hawaii with my family is all booked and I cannot wait!! Over the next week I need to revisit my goals I set in the fall, readjust where needed, and set some new ones,
Hope everyone's year is off to a good start.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Hey BT! I have nothing to say as there is nothing to say, you are doing outstanding! Really happy that you've done what you've done for yourself. The way you are being appreciative of what you have and are unleashing your best self is a tribute to God. Keep fighting the good fight. It's difficult, but you inspire us all!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
