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Yes, you got it. Hope it was helpful to you.

I know you struggling a lot today. Any GAL activities on the agenda today?


Me:45 ExW:48
M:04/97
3 Bombs & 2 ReCons
1st BD 11/10
D Finalized 4/20
D-16 S-14
Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
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rich4j Offline OP
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Going to a "meet up group" aorund my profession this evening so I don't have to be near the home

Big struggles right now. Have time alone in house with D starting Fri-Sun


_________________________
Me-48
Spouse-WAW 52
Married for 10 years
D7
ILYBNILWY 7/15
Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial
She files 1/2016
Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
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I hear you and feel your pain and frustration rich4j. My sitch is similar with WW spewing venom everywhere. Not the same person I knew as late as just a few months ago. Hang in there. Hope things improve for you.


Me:44 W:38
T:10.5 M:7.5
D:3
BD: 7/2015
W moves out of MBR: 9/2015
WW files for D: 2/8/2016
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rich4j Offline OP
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thansk G8r hope your sitch gets better..mine is not


Q for anyone going thru separation or D with Daughters?

It feels strange right now as my STBX is making spending time and doing things with her a bit as a contest...it feels strange.

I am so worried about a daughter wanting to spend more time with her mom which is natural. She is also daddy's girl (in my mind...) but I am losing sleep over things i can't control.

Any advice ???


_________________________
Me-48
Spouse-WAW 52
Married for 10 years
D7
ILYBNILWY 7/15
Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial
She files 1/2016
Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,952
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Originally Posted By: rich4j
thansk G8r hope your sitch gets better..mine is not


Q for anyone going thru separation or D with Daughters?

It feels strange right now as my STBX is making spending time and doing things with her a bit as a contest...it feels strange.

I am so worried about a daughter wanting to spend more time with her mom which is natural. She is also daddy's girl (in my mind...) but I am losing sleep over things i can't control.

Any advice ???


It's about recognizing what you can control. It makes me happy when my daughter says she does stuff with mommy, because I want her to have a good relationship with both parents.

Of course it will feel like a contest for now, but just focus on being the best parent you can be.

And remember, it's early days. Things wont stay in this state of chaos forever.

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rich4j Offline OP
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It is chaos

SHE FILE and RECEIVED THE divorce papers today...wow.....what a hit in the gut!

She wants primary custody. Have to consult with L tomorrow as I want to ensure joint. Fun times....ugh


_________________________
Me-48
Spouse-WAW 52
Married for 10 years
D7
ILYBNILWY 7/15
Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial
She files 1/2016
Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
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otw Offline
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I'm sorry bud.

try t turn off emotions and go into business mode.


M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15
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Sorry, rich.
I just got my papers last night. I really is a hit in the gut.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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rich4j Offline OP
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Ciluzen

I am having a drink with you right now virtually....to better times.

In business mode big time.....L convo tomorrow.

Man...how real it has gotten with the papers. Makes me want to puke.


_________________________
Me-48
Spouse-WAW 52
Married for 10 years
D7
ILYBNILWY 7/15
Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial
She files 1/2016
Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,952
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Originally Posted By: rich4j
how real it has gotten with the papers.


Just remember, the physical act of being DIVORCED doesnt really change anything.

Point of fact: XW and her L went into court to file some kind of petition on a Monday. On Thursday, XW asked me about house refinancing stuff, and I said it needed to wait until D was final. Her reply was that it was finalized on the Monday! I actually lived my life for 4 days as a divorcee without even knowing it!

The point is that the legal part of it doesnt really mean anything. It just changes how you report your status to the government.

I understand the pain you are going through today, and I urge you to go easy on yourself. But at the same time, remember that its just a piece of paper.

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