It's all blowing up

[Sotto]

Rich, have you thought about a divorce support group of a divorce recovery workshop? Not sure where you are, but try googling rebuilding workshops or DRW and see what comes up. It has helped me to meet a group of people in similar circs, and there tends to be a social scene afterwards too - and lots of support. Much better than moving into dating too early I think.

If I feel lonely now, I tend to use that time to fix up some new things for myself - either in the way of GAL, meeting friends or support.

Take care xx

[Rick1963]

I can definetly relate about the loneliness. My ex took my child and my dogs 2 days before hurricane Sand hit and destroyed my state. She never told me where she moved to. That was the last time I saw her or had any interaction. It took some time to not feel lonely. I did a lot of things to keep me busy. I began to enjoy being alone so that concerned me. At that point I started dating it felt right.

Take your time. Learn to enjoy your alone time. Dont look at it as being abandoned. This is a very painful experience but you will learn to deal with things and life very differently. The freedom to do what ever became exciting and concerning...Gal my friend

[rich4j]

thx Sotto....that is a great idea

I think once the dust settles a bit more over the next few weeks heading into March I will find some groups. I did a search and found some divorce meet ups and others in the area ....that will be helpful.

------------------------
Me: 49
Her: 53
Married: 10yrs
1 D6

Issues back in 2011/2012 Counseling
8/2015 ILYBNILWY I don't know what's wrong
Didn't start DB'ing until too late
1/28/16 Got D papers
Working on the D
Still live under the same roof

[rich4j]

Rick...that is crazy! Sounds like you are a NJ guy...neighbor in PA
I would have freaked out if my W did that right now...she has threatened but ....

I have plans most of the every other weekends as I plan ahead but it is still lonely in terms of the day to day interactions we used to have and "family group hug". I do have my bro/wife who have been there for me and only one other friend I have told who is a good support person

-----------------------
Me: 49
Her: 53
Married: 10yrs
1 D6

Issues back in 2011/2012 Counseling
8/2015 ILYBNILWY I don't know what's wrong
Didn't start DB'ing until too late
1/28/16 Got D papers
Working on the D
Still live under the same roof

[Tamjakr]

I have that question too. I miss my x so much but also want a partner. The problem is I'm still in love with x and not a single person am I attracted to!

[Rick1963]

Yup the Soprano state. Not only that they left 2 days before the hurricane and didnt know where they moved to I was forcefully evacuated. I ended up in a shelter with thousands of strangers. I survived and so will you my friend. Be good to yourself. Healing from this takes time. Im on year 5 and have adjusted ok to the major changes. Once you have a hold of your fears things will look better

[rich4j]

I miss my x so much but also want a partner. The problem is I'm still in love with x and not a single person am I attracted to!

Tamj- it's hard. And I guess that is the whole idea of trying to detach but that probably takes a good amount of time.

I know it will in my case but this has gone on for 7 months and I am hitting a weird stage of anger/resentment some days and then seeing her in the rear view mirror

[rich4j]

I ended up in a shelter with thousands of strangers.

wow...rick. Your a strong man going thru that and glad you are good. 5 years...geez...can't even picture that right now

Had a good day with my daughter seeing amovie/dinner and hanging all weekend.

One of my neighbors who has no idea what is going on saw me out for dinner with her and was like "hey where is the W?...she is traveling alot? " I was like..yeah....lots going on. Weird situation

But what made my heart sink was that my D who was having a great time looks at me at dinner and goes..."I miss mommy"....I wish she was here with us and not traveling so much (she is out of town by choice fyi).

I can't get mad....a bit sad.....and that I really have to understand this will be the new normal until we explain the situation which I know will crush her. She has a bunch of sketches of us all together...holding hands....just like others kids with the dogs and it says a "happy family"...... I think this is the saddest part of this ordeal.

[rich4j]

This [censored]! I want to fight, I want to claw, and get my WAW back and the D papers sit on my desk

I reread the 180 stuff and I am on death row "Per Se" in marriage land and I feel hopeless for "us"...not me

My D drew a picture today of the family which said "I love my family". I had to leave the room and go cry.....she only has seen me cry once as a dad

Then had to go look at some places to live without her and I just don't know how this will ever work.

I almost want to shake my WAW and ask her "Do you know what you are doing here!!!"

Venting.

[ciluzen]

Vent away, Rich. That's what these boards are for.

I can't stand that we have to deal with L. I even told my H I couldn't believe that he'd rather throw money at Ls to rip everything we have apart than to give money to someone to help us work on our M.

None of it makes sense...yet it does in that pain makes you desperate to find an end to it, one way or the other. I'm sorry your kiddo has to deal with it. Mine are adults, and it still is tearing them up.

We can get through this because we have to.