Hi TXHubby, your story really moves me. I continue to battle my inner demons, forgiving, surrendering, I have this tendency to be a fighter and want to fix things, but I just keep pushing my w away. Your story brings me down to earth, there is a higher power, and I need to surrender....
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Just a little earlier this year she goes to her normal annual health screen. Mammogram comes back with something suspicious. Test come back positive for breast cancer.
So has your wife gone for any follow up tests on this?
Seems like a common thing for people under stress(or of an older age) to contract something like cancer, hepatitis, strokes, heart attacks, blood pressure, cholestrol problems.
TxHubby, I really like your posts. You have a way of writing that really draws me in. Your advice on - I think it was Mona's thread?- has really helped me. Thank you for sharing your story and your experience. I hope that your marriage is strong now, and I wish you the best for 2016.
Just a little earlier this year she goes to her normal annual health screen. Mammogram comes back with something suspicious. Test come back positive for breast cancer.
So has your wife gone for any follow up tests on this?
Seems like a common thing for people under stress(or of an older age) to contract something like cancer, hepatitis, strokes, heart attacks, blood pressure, cholestrol problems.
Thought I would check out your story and it was a big help. My wife and I are also High school sweethearts and I have felt for some time that she thought she missed out on something in life. Part of me questions an MLC with her. Also, FB and all her younger single girl friends doing "fabulous" versions of things she wanted to do doesn't help. Thank you for sharing your story, it is nice to see something full circle.
Thought I would check out your story and it was a big help. My wife and I are also High school sweethearts and I have felt for some time that she thought she missed out on something in life. Part of me questions an MLC with her. Also, FB and all her younger single girl friends doing "fabulous" versions of things she wanted to do doesn't help. Thank you for sharing your story, it is nice to see something full circle.
FB was one thing for me the other was my WW loved the Bachelor TV show... that's what she wants in a relationship....
Wow, I had forgotten about my intro thread. Sorry I've been neglecting it. I don't neglect the site. I read so many threads where people are at some of the same points I went through on my timeline through all this. I do love my wife. Is everything all better and all rainbows now? Of course not. We still have issues with each other but the difference is we don't let anything go unaddressed. We do communicate much better.
Also, if you reconcile with a wayward spouse then you have to really forgive and forget. You have to. Don't ever bring up the affair. Don't hold it over them. In the long run their own guilt tortures their heart as much as the betrayal tortured yours. That's if they are truly remorseful and still love you.
I also see so many asking how long they have to wait before they cut their losses and move on? Some have only been living this type of nightmare for a few weeks or months. It could take years. You have to know that. My wife's MLC, and all the horrible behavior that came with it, went on for 2+ years. It was hell for me. It wasn't until I gave up on us that it cleared her mind. She still tells me it was like being struck with a bolt of lightening and suddenly all the stupidity left her brain (her words not mine).
To get through things with some humor, when the cancer prognosis came in she was like "oh great, we just start to recover from my stupidity and now God is going to kill me as punishment for what I did." I told her I don't think God works that way.
Some days I think if I could go back in time I might have just walked out on that fateful March day. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have those thoughts occasionally. Still, life is pretty good right now. We go for walks, we hold hands, and this year is our 30th anniversary. We've made it through all this so I think we'll be ok. I tell her all the time that if I die first that the last thing I want my eyes to gaze upon before I leave this life is her face.
I don't want to sound like a sappy pep talk here but you really can get through whatever you're going through that brought you here. I went through the worst experience of my life for over 2 years but here we are together and happy. It can happen for you too but you have to accept that it might not. Either way, you'll be fine.
To get through things with some humor, when the cancer prognosis came in she was like "oh great, we just start to recover from my stupidity and now God is going to kill me as punishment for what I did." I told her I don't think God works that way.
Thanks for answering this.
I seem to see many people that go through this process get hit with all sorts of disease. Some of my research shows that stress and the changes that occur to your body during this time make us susceptible to disease. For some reason(maybe hormones) the bodies weakest links are attacked during midlife. My knee was bad during high school and college. So was my ankle and shoulder, wouldn't you know that now those are all the problems that I have are in those parts of my body. Those women that go through postpartum depression are more likely to have MLC's and depression later in life too.
Please keep posting on your thread and sharing your story here. You have posted it on other peoples threads but for transparency it is a great idea to put some of it here too.
