Board Policies and General Info for Newcomers

[Cadet]

For informational purposes only.

Right now the NOTIFY option on the forum does not work.
This is also affecting those on Moderation.

We are working on trying to FIX this problem.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.

I would suggest posting here if you need to reach me and I can delete your post.

I will post here when it is working again.

The NOTIFY button now works again! YAY!

Please use it if needed.

[Cadet]

ISSUE - I am new to the forum and I am on moderation.
How do I get off?

Or

I was put back on moderation for not following the board Rules.
Now What?

The Board Administrator makes the final decision on all posters for whether they are on moderation or not.
AKA - Virginia.

As a new poster we would like to see evidence that you are following the rules and who you are.
That you are Posting DB type advice, within the board rules.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=boardrules&v=1

My suggestion is to start a Personal thread and POST about yourself.
This gives other posters some background on who you are and what your story is.
It also helps to give complete transparency about yourself.
That you are not a sock puppet with multiple user names
Also posters are able to post to you and ask you questions if needed.
After this is demonstrated I normally recommend to the administrator that you be taken off of moderation.
Normally on weekends, holidays and night(EST.) very little goes on about these issues.
If you have done all these things and are still on moderation, I suggest you contact the Administrator about your case.


I hope that helps.

Just re-posting this with a little more explanation.

As a new poster your posts must be approved by the moderator or admin.
When you hit submit for a post they go into a queue that must be approved before they show up.
During business hours(see note bolded above) this should happen
rather quickly, although it is never guaranteed.
Other times it will be when I get to it.

I am the main moderator for this section of the forum.
So if I am busy then it could be more delayed.

I can only say that it is much faster than in the past,
and I will do the best I can.

Please use DB101 = PATIENCE.

[Cadet]

If someone needs to contact a moderator or the admin, please use the notify button, and write whatever message you would like.

We can not answer directly, without posting on a thread but it is a private way to send a message.

I only have powers on a few sections of the forum and if you need something elsewhere notify on those threads or posts.

Yes anything posted here is in the public domain and searchable on google.

Please post carefully.

I am bumping this up as their seems to be some confusion about contacting me.

Please voice your concerns if that is the case.

I am not that hard to get a hold of as I am here a lot.

[Hermes]

How to request a Username change?
need this to protect myself as spouse may have seen this...

[Cadet]

How to request a Username change?
need this to protect myself as spouse may have seen this...

Go to MY STUFF

EDIT PROFILE and change your Display name

It must be approved by an admin, i.e. Virginia.

[beatric]

How to use Advanced Signature?

[Cadet]

How to use Advanced Signature?

Located in

MY STUFF
EDIT PROFILE

3/4 of the way at the bottom of the page

and you need to remove that link from your signature.

[Salazar]

Cadet, could you clarify the rules around recommending books? Obviously DB/DR is good to go and other books specifically on avoiding divorce etc are likely off limits. What about supplemental books? For example, books on affirmation or books on codependency? At this point, I have picked up and read probably 15 randomly tangential books (as I am sure many people do when things start to go south) with another 10 or so in the mail. I have no vested interest in any of the books or anything like that, just curious how to best help others if I find something that works for me. Some of the books I have were bought used as they have been out of print since the 80/90s.

I have seen others recommend some supplemental titles, but again, I am very thankful for the resource of this forum and the community, so I want to stay well within the allowed bounds!

[Cadet]

Cadet, could you clarify the rules around recommending books? Obviously DB/DR is good to go and other books specifically on avoiding divorce etc are likely off limits. What about supplemental books? For example, books on affirmation or books on codependency? At this point, I have picked up and read probably 15 randomly tangential books (as I am sure many people do when things start to go south) with another 10 or so in the mail. I have no vested interest in any of the books or anything like that, just curious how to best help others if I find something that works for me. Some of the books I have were bought used as they have been out of print since the 80/90s.

I have seen others recommend some supplemental titles, but again, I am very thankful for the resource of this forum and the community, so I want to stay well within the allowed bounds!

I made a post about this earlier in this thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2567901#Post2567901

At this point my suggestion is that you stick with MWD's books on these forums.

There are other recommendations out there that you can read about however I would avoid posting too much about them and stick with the person that pays the bills here.

I hope that helps.

[Salazar]

Cadet,

Thanks! Curious, I have read dozen of stories from different people, but I wonder if I am missing a better way to search for successful outcomes.

Realistically, I know a lot of people start posting and then disappear before they ever share the outcome of their situation. There are others that share success stories in a paragraph or 2 after the fact, which Virginia posts and can also be found on the main DB website. These are good, but the success stories do not provide level of insight that a dozen or so journal-ling threads do over the course of months.


Is there some way to search threads by ongoing vs complete and then by what the outcome of the relationship was, if it is complete? If not, might there be some way to add a tag of sorts to the threads to facilitate such a feature?