Hey sorry to hear he did not follow your boundary of keeping OW away from kids. Being walked over like that is terrible. It best to just do nothing right now as your feeling so much right now. No big decisions right now. Just feel what your feeling.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
Red nail, you have a right to be angry and disgusted regarding him doing that. Do you think he is trying to get you to react? I know you have been doing great not reacting to some other attention seeking tactics.
You have every reason to question if you would even be open to R with him after such disrespect. Disgust, anger, sadness and even hate are all totally normal things for you to be feeling right now. Go slowly, and take extra care of yourself for a while.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Red, how are you going to enforce this boundary he has already smashed through? I don't have any answers, but I agree that it was completely wrong for him to do this, it's bad for the children and it's so hard for you.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
So sorry to hear about your kids meeting OW, I can only imagine. Do you think he has done it to get a reaction from you? I think you are well within your rights to ask for NC for the kids as long as you are still married.
Was walking my own hell for awhile and now I feel better.
Red, I made a point to my XH and would make his life a complete hell if he would share my children with OW.
Please, talk to your L about this and reinforce it as much as you can. This is not just some OW, this was your best friend that used to spend time with your kids. This is a woman that lived in your house for some time and got to know and share your kids in many levels at that time.
If he wants to be nasty and do that to his family then it is all his business, but he has no right to take the kids and play family with that bloody bit**.
It is your children and if you do not want that kind of aggression on them, then he can go to hell forever, but you will stand up for your kids.
What is this guy thinking? What kind of messed up kids he wants to raise. They had mom and dad, then aunt bit** shows up, now dad is gone and then dad sleeps with aunt bit**, as your daughter even told you before when he did it at your house.
When does one stops the insanity and see what cruelty they are doing for such two innocent kids?
If in your heart you think it is not appropriate for your kids, then he does not get the kids. I know it is complicate because you are trying to get him back, but maybe he needs to know that he can't treat his family this way and then he will grow some respect for you.
This is my opinion, but I would talk to my L and get these things straight asap. Your kids are small now, and some results of this dirty arrangement will show up it's signs down the road when they are teenagers and don't care about anything or anyone else.
I am really sorry to see that your H is not changing and is still being such Jerk. And I am even more sorry to know that you need to be the grown up, the adult, the responsible.
I'm back for a quick pop in. No legally I can't do anything about the OW. Doesn't matter, I have asked cops, lawyers everyone. My life is..sadly the same. Still separated and I still haven't moved on. We have slept together a couple times. I have caved a couple times. They are still living together. He mentioned this weekend filing for the D on Tuesday so tomorrow. I never really DB the right way. I would always cave and give in and miss him. I'm truly trying after this weekend to move on. Let go. Db. Do whatever it takes to move on. Ive messed up..ive done great.. I'm really all over the place some days and solid others. The only thing I wish is that I had done what I needed to sooner. That I wouldn't cave when he would come talk to me or give me some attention..for that I'm disappointed in myself.
I may start posting again because if he files tomorrow I'll need to have a good support system.
Overall I'm great. Solid person..externally major overhall. Lost 50 plus lbs. Look amazing.. Internally as soon as I see him I start cracking.
My only goal now everyday is to wake up. Love myself. Let go. That's it.
