My sitch update...I think I covered my weekend in the last few posts of my old thread. WW did some things on Monday which left me in a place, I don't know, left me somewhere.
Monday I got emails from her where I was attached in responses. My mother has been recovering from an injury and sends updates to all family at once (mother does know WW and I are S). WW responded to my mother and called her mom (she has called her that since we were teenagers)and also said she loved her. WW also replied to her grandmother who had written me to thank me for some flowers I gave her for her garden last fall - in that WW gushed about how nice it was to have those flowers to remember me by and generally what a great guy I am, also told grandmother she wants me, WW, and our S to make a visit to see her this fall. Tuesday morning WW asked me for some pictures to send to family and I obliged by just send a few pictures of S and one that had me in it. WW replied all caps about how cute I was and S was in the photos. I did not reply. Later in the day, WW responded to an email from S's teacher, in it WW refered to me as her husband. I did not reply. Tuesday night she called me to tell me she would not be taking a new job she was supposed to begin in a few days, her current employer countered. I was hoping she would take job as she works w/ dude she is in the A with. I went into listening mode and said nothing beyond the validation stuff. WW told me that when the head exec of her company was countering he told her about how she moves through her career with little commitment, patience, and make decisions in haste always running to what looks like the next best thing. The WW said that he told her "...and not to offend, but you do this on a personal level too. I know about your family and how you have separated from your H. What are you running from? You need to sit tight and hold onto things sometime while you learn and you might realize you are right where you need to be." I was still listening, but was surprised to hear WW tell me that part, she could have left it out and I would be none the wiser. Anyway, when it was all said and done I validated -"must have been very hard for you, but you sound positive about this and pleased with your decision". Yesterday, morning phone call which I answered. I was in 180 mode - short, polite, listen, validate. Got the "is everything ok?" again. I said everything is great - someone knocked on my office door and I used that to get off the phone. Normally I would have been right to expect she contact me again during the day in one form or another, but she did not. I held ground and have not contacted, as I do not make first contact.
Am I being pulse checked? are these legit moves on WW's part to show some effort? I am sticking to my guns as none of this is real progress in a big way, but is it progress?
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
Am I being pulse checked? are these legit moves on WW's part to show some effort? I am sticking to my guns as none of this is real progress in a big way, but is it progress?
I would say you asked and answered your own questions here. Remember action is king here, words are just words and we don't believe any of those if you recall.
Do jot this down as potential progress as MWD would teach us, but there is much more needed before you would want to confidently latch on as forward momentum.
Hang in there, the journey is still very much in the beginning stages. Stay in your lane as you did here and you will be alright.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Thanks SH_ I guess I did. Stay in lane, long journey, jot this down. Ahhhh, hell. Need the clarity from time to time.
WW sent emails this morning. Barrage of them around the 10am mark. One was about school thing for S4 (this was the first one and only one I replied to), next was a reply to family I was linked into - but gave me a question about looking at a calendar for visiting trip, next some random one about discounts on beds (she knows my mattress has a broken spring, but its a Queen and I sleep on the other side and it has been broken for a while now), then came her reply to the one about the school item, and about 1 minute ago I got one where WW about me having S4 tonight where WW was clearly trying to be playful w/ me. Bleeeearggggg!
Picture me sitting calmly with a smile (This is your brain) now picture me hitting myself in the back of my head with the business end of a claw hammer (This is your brain on WW).
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
Picture me sitting calmly with a smile (This is your brain) now picture me hitting myself in the back of my head with the business end of a claw hammer (This is your brain on WW).
This caught me as funny in a disturbed kind of way. Lol
Google F*ck that an honest meditation It will provide you with a less painful type of smile that does not include any end of a claw hammer.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Picture me sitting calmly with a smile (This is your brain) now picture me hitting myself in the back of my head with the business end of a claw hammer (This is your brain on WW).
This caught me as funny in a disturbed kind of way. Lol
Google F*ck that an honest meditation It will provide you with a less painful type of smile that does not include any end of a claw hammer.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Holy Sht that was funny! Seriously, thanks, totally needed that.
PS I was speak metaphorically - this is a place where what I said could be mistaken as serious, I have a dark sense of humor - the video you suggested fit well.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
Sounds like W is emotionally/mentally thrashing about but if she's for real then she'd drop the A. Then you know she's arrived somewhere.
I could not agree more.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
Emails have continued throughout the day. Until about an hour ago I had still only answered the one. I decided to do a small bit of fishing and gave just a bit more personality in responses to one of the later ones. This is not backsliding - I did this on purpose, just to see what would happen. WW brightened up as I expected and she continued pursuit. I gave no answers beyond single sentences, but that was more than I have done in weeks, where answers have been more like "ok" "will do" or "yes". I'm done fishing now, I saw what I was curious about, will return to the standard I just illustrated. Have IC tonight and S4. My IC specializes in child behavior so I do the occasional session w/ my S4. I want IC to see him and makes sure that more damage is not occurring than what is to be expected or what I can see on my own.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
