Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I just read this and I NEEDED to read this right now. I do have a question. You say the M isn't over until YOU say it's over. What if your spouse says it's over and the the courts say it's over? I really don't feel that I'm in control of anything in my M right now.
I'm right there with you. I find myself comparing me to OM. Really there's no comparison. He's trash. Sure he knows just what to say to get what he's after but that doesn't change what he is. And like you, anyone who would take advantage of a married woman in a delicate emotional state shows he has no integrity. Try to show your kids a good example of how a "real man" is supposed to act.
I'm in a similar boat, Hopful...I'm not for sure about PA with OM, but I am sure of an EA that lasted for about 3 months (April-July)...I think it's over, but who knows. My W says she wants out of our M and has already spoken to an attorney and filled out paperwork. She told me so that I'd be prepared when the papers arrived. I'm pretty broken about it.
I guess we can only hold out for as long as we can stand. The spouse wanting out is going to do what they want to do. I'm just trying to get myself to a good place in my own head. If she wants me at some point then it will be my decision.
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Thank you for this it makes so much sense to my situation. I've been trawling through posts about MLC and found a link for the 6 stages but it didn't work can anyone tell me what the 6 stages are?
Me 46 H 39 M 11 T 14 S 10 DO 8 ILYBNILWY 11.06.17 Separate rooms 11.06.17 ILW OW A ongoing 12.06.17 Kicked H out 23.6.17 H came home 20.8.17
I'm sorry...I just saw your posting. Please keep in mind that the stages are not linear and they can bounce back and forth in them until they hit acceptance and there is no set time limit on the stages. They are very similar to the stages of grief.
The stages are: denial, anger replay, depression, withdrawal and acceptance.
The best thing to do is keep the focus on you and your family and leave your spouse and/or companion to do his/her thing. If your spouse is in MLC, it will take a long time for him/her to get thru it...some don't make it. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
