Cherry, filing, moving. Gaining strength

[JksD]

(((Cherry)))

Sweetheart, don't go there. Unless it will benefit you when filing or unless you planning to sue skank, the distinction is pointless.

An A is an A. Infidelity is infidelity.

It could just be guilt.

I am so sorry for your pain.

[Coly23]

Cherry, put that big STOP sign up and don't go there! Even if it is, is it really making him happy? No, like you said he looks depressed and can't look anyone in the eye. Not very promising for the start of any relationship is it IF that is the case.....

I wonder what really goes through their minds you know. I mean why spout of that you are going to leave and then make no effort to make preparations! I've seen in some stichs where the spouse literally clears the house out (like AndrewP's W) from the word go! Whereas my H still has a wardrobe full of clothes and 90% of his life still in the marital home. I keep thinking he obviously doesn't need any of it so maybe I should just bin it all!! I'm expecting him to turn up with a van soon though!

Maybe you should put some boxes and bubble wrap outside his room as a hint...!

[Cherry]

Ladies, thank you. I don't think I have the energy to investigate. IF I was to find evidence, I think I would definitely make sure her name is stated, do a counter to adultery and have her pay my fees!! However I am not going to snoop, I can't deal with the excess stress. I've my own mental state and the health of my baby to think of.

The way that my wh has put it out there was that he was getting a place and he would be gone. Maybe they keep things there to kind of keep the door propped open a touch, or a reason to swing by. Who knows, not us and probably not them.

Having a relaxing evening, he breezed by for a whole few minutes. Came to my room to see how I was, and then left again. Going to relax and regain my chill.

[PsySara]

I wish we could just bash our two WH's heads together. I don't get this trolling in the gutters of humanity when they have diamonds and gold at home. It has gone beyond strange how closely our lives are parallel, huh?

You keep doing you, his misery and guilt are his to struggle with. You and I have a clean conscious and can look people in the eye.

[Cherry]

It really is very very strange how alike our lives and sitchs are! Eery!

They also seemed to forget the "lower your gaze". Funny that!

You're right, we can. We can keep our heads held up high and know we have not done wrong. It's no wonder really they can't look us in the eye. I keep telling me that this is all to do with him and not me. In a way, maybe its better, he's previously looked me straight in the eye and lied. I guess at least avoiding my eye contact shows he is thinking something.

I've said it before, i would much rather be on this side of the fence. The guilt would absolutely eat me alive!

[Phoebe]

Hi Cherry. I also am of he opinion that it matters not a whit if it's an EA or a PA. It's waywardness, pure and simple. How many hoops his monkeys jump through in the circus doesn't change the fact that the circus exists in the first place.

It was never the idea of my WH sharing his body that pushed me to such a low point. It was the deceit that I hadn't seen. It was the violation of my trust, both in him and of my own instincts. More information won't change anything at all.

You just keep on taking the high road, lovely. It's got a much better view.

((((((Cherry))))))

[Cherry]

Thanks for the support. You're right, it doesn't make too much difference either way. The thought of him getting his emotional needs met by someone else tears me up, the physical side for me is awful. The thought of him physically being with someone else knocks me sick.

I think yesterday I was having a low self esteem day. I pictured him out amongst skinny pretty girls, and then coming home to a pregnant lady getting fatter (darn water retention!). These I know are useless thoughts, and mindreading at its best! So I shall overcome and think what I am, and what I'm about. Yes I'm at home while these girls are out, is that a bad thing. No, no it is not. I have responsibilities, I'm a mother- and a damn good one at that. Yes I am getting bigger and retaining water like a camel. Bad thing? No. I'm growing a human. His child. I shall go back to embracing my new curves. And shall attempt to appear with the same confidence of one of those Greek statues of a proud woman proudly growing life!

I also need to get working on falling asleep earlier, I think the sleep deprivation is not doing me any favours. So this is a new goal to achieve.

[JksD]

(((Cherry)))

Real men loves some curves. Cherry, dont you dare compare yourself to skanks. You are way out of their league. Can they cook and keep house like you do? Are they trying their darnest for a family and a h that they love? Do they have the morals that you do?

Skanks can be skinny because they don't have responsibilities like you do. And yup, they don't have a lovely child growing in them.

Hope you got some rest.

[Surfer]

I know it's awful to think about your S with someone else. I understand that. Kids are even talking to me about it kind of "Mummy is not looking for anyone else but she might find someone" (I just respond, "that's okay") - bless them, just talking me through what they are thinking. They are happy and okay about it all it seems but it's still not nice to hear at times (at times I am okay with it). I do slip back every now and then and try to wish for things that I can't control ("if only everything was how it was", "why can't she see its wrong all of this" etc). It really is pointless though. I think we just need to accept and move on. I know it's hard, but try not to punish yourself with such thoughts about H with OW.

Sleep really helps Cherry. It's often when you are tired or run down that it is easier to cycle.

Try to keep busy, it will keep your mind off the roller coaster and will help you to tire so you sleep better.

Surfer.

[Cherry]

Thanks grl, I honestly shouldn't complain, at 4.5 months pregnant I can still fit in my pre prey clothes, and have a fairly neat bump. I think it's just easy with all the wild hormones and rapid changes to feel self conscious. The funny thing is, I've always looked at pregnant women and thought they look so beautiful, growing life and lovely curves- so womanly. And you are absolutely right, a single mom can be a kickass woman, take care of herself, a child, keep a home, financially independent and strong as hell, they can't even slightly compare, living at home with their mama's psssh please.

Thanks surfer, you are so right. When tired everything always seems much more drained, I caught a quick power nap after work and then made dinner. Wh came home on time, and rather withdrawn (not my issue). I offered him food which he took up, he ate in silence and got up as soon as he ate. This didn't bother me, I don't expect any conversation. At least I could maintain my higher ground, stay steady and constant and show my son a good example.