"No. never broke up. Together straight through from first week of my junior year and her sophomore year of college all the way through."
Ok, I think she really does want a change because she doesn't know any better. Many times when there are people who have been together for a really long time and never really got to go out and "experience" others, they feel like this. They don't know any better so are willing to take the chance on something new.
How have you kept things new and exciting before? Or did you just let things get complacent in your M?
I think it's a mix. We've always had a great time with experienced. Traveling, friends, parties, etc. it wasn't until she dropped 70 lbs and did well in fitness competitions that the real changes started. It's as if the attention she got gave her the mindset that she was settling just because we were together for so long. I asked her for 18 years to go kayaking. She had no interest at all. None. A couple of weeks ago she posted pictures of her kayaking (you could see the OM in the banckground). When I asked her about it she told me she just didn't want to with me because she never liked me inclusive of when I asked her to go on our honeymoon in Mexico.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Kids had gymnastics tonight. Afterwards, i was asked to go to dinner with them and I know that in lrt she recommended to take advantage of family time invites. I accepted the invite and she was on her phone texting OM the whole time but, I didn't say a word about it and remained upbeat and positive. No mention of divorce or planning or anything in a few days. Not sure nor focused on her plan and just trying to stay the course. I did find it interesting that she said Monday when inquiring about financial stuff that it was "if" she needed them. Trying not to look too into things as everyday seems to be a new adventure.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Another week gone and not served with papers. She only mentioned it on Monday and nothing since.
Went out lastnight with a friend for sushi. It was nice and I committed to going out next week as well. Kids stayed with me lastnight and it was actually nice getting a text from her about dropping the kids off and me being able to say I was out.
My weekend with the kids this weekend. Looking forward to that for sure.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
in a bit of a funk tonight. The thought of her with the OM tonight (and practically nightly this week) irks me more than usual. I'm not letting it deter me from continuing the course but, I just don't get it. I have definitely been more distant but, I'm really getting the vibe she's been having her cake and loving it.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Should I be posting elsewhere to get input and such?
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
You can post any where you wish. You'll get good advice on any of the forums and we do support those who have walkaways as well on the MLC Forum.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Was invited for dinner with W and D's lastnight at her house. Invite was nice. I know mwd advocates for taking advantage of any family invites. We are going to Disney on Friday and staying overnight. Haven't slept in the same room/house since about April when we went to a wedding out of town.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
A friend of mine texted me yesterday and I wasn't able to respond. He and I haven't talked since May. He reached out to w to ask how I was. She hasn't talked to him in about 2 years and she said "I'll let him know you are trying to reach him. We separated. It was mutual. We drifted apart". When I asked if she thought it was again weird that she feels the need to start conversations like this with people she hasn't talked to in years (she's done this before), her response was: "Is it a secret? We are getting divorced". My response: "if you didn't give the kids a bath lastnight please drop them off here earlier so I can tonight".
I feel as if my response was a small victory but, I was shocked to hear her say it. Blah
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
just FYI I looked for your story in newcomers, then found it by clicking on your name.
maybe you'll get more traffic in that forum, it's the one I peruse, and probably true for others.
I dont have much advice, but my heart is with u as u deal with this sh*t. thanks for the help in my sitch too.
M 40 W 40 S 2.5 Together 13 years Married 11 years BD: 09/23/16 PA, then long Distance EA confirmed 9/30/16 Exposed A to OM's W 10/7/16 A ended 10/10/16
