I came to this place a long time ago. I lurked and read just about every thread in the archives as well as current ones. There were posters I liked and posters I didn't. I say with honesty, I didn't like Jack 3 Beans. I admired him, but I didn't like him at all.
Then one day, I got an email, I still don't know how he got my email address...
The first line was "I know you may think I'm an asssshole but..."
He reached out to me because we had a mutual friend that he was trying to do something wonderful for and wanted to know if I wanted to be a part of it...
That email started, what turned out to be, one of the most cherished friendships that I will ever have in my life.
What everyone here has said is true...he would hate this thread. He didn't even like hearing "thank you."
He gave so much to so many. Touched lives in ways he never even realized. In his mind, he was simply a man. No better, no worse, than any other.
He believed, and tried to live, what he said to people. He may not have always been the most compassionate person, but he was passionate about DB, about being the best that you can, about being a friend, and about life.
Pirate,
You are walking again today my friend.
I will miss you, although I know you will always be sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear "did you do it right?"
Until we dip our toes in the water again...
I love you, you Bonehead.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
I was a newbie flopping around like a fish ... seriously reeling from everything that had happened in my life. Found this place and thankfully there were some vets who came in and patched me up, set me straight and were helping me along my journey.
I did not know Jack/Jeff personally, not even outside of this place but I can tell you without looking he posted on a few of my threads and I was amazed he took an interest. I recall a couple lines he dropped on me and 2 years later those words/concepts resonate with me to this day .... for me when Jack posted to you it was like your quiet GrandPa speaking up and everyone shut up and took note
As it was said, he would be one of the Mt Rushmore figures ... I am saddened by the loss if only for selfsih reasons as I still feel he could teach us all so much more, but I am honored to have learned what I did from this great man.
Rest in Peace Jack/Jeff ... you touched more people than you could possibly realize.
I haven't been on the boards in a long time, but for whatever reason, I decided to come here today. I am terribly sorry to see this news. My heart goes out to all that knew him. Jack and I didn't always agree on everything, but I sure respected him. Rest in Peace Jack
I just logged on, and that is such sad news. Again, I only knew Jack/Jeff on these forums, but I saw how much his words and support touched and helped many here over many years. That is a lovely legacy I think - to have helped others move forward during the darkest times of their lives. May he rest in peace.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
He reached out to me because we had a mutual friend that he was trying to do something wonderful for and wanted to know if I wanted to be a part of it...
Yep, he roped me in on that one too.
And I was happy to participate.
Old Fashioneds all around!!
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
This news has had me in tears off and on all morning. The loss of Jeff is so tragic and unfair. His friends and family are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Back when I was on the boards it would scare the crap out of me to have Jack 3 Beans post on my thread lol! As brutally honest as I was on here, he never failed to hit me with even more knowledge. He was such a straight up, no nonsense person. Sometimes he aggravated me but I always had respect for him. He told it like it was, whether you liked it or not. Those are the kinds of people who impact my life the most. In recent times, our only contact was via Facebook. True to character, he was a teacher there as well. I often read his posts/rants regarding politics and other issues. I never failed to learn from him, even when he was being silly. His premature departure from this world leaves a huge hole online as well as in real life. I will always regret not going to NC last month to meet him in person. My deepest sympathies go out to everyone who loves him.
Jack, thoughts and prayers, you touched a lot of lives and for sure mine. What you were is indescribable and words are not able to express. The post below has been with me everyday. Miss you J3Beans...
Something zen and witty?
Something to remind you of your course?
Something germane to the day ahead?
That is alot of pressure.
When I need a reminder, of what I want to be, when I think I have lost a bit of fire. I find that Invictus by William Ernest Henley fits the bill.
Invictus:
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
Don't give up Kid. More importantly, do not let anyone defeat you...including yourself.
When you come to this place, you're in a pretty fragile state. Most of us didn't even know what this place was, and we had no way of knowing whether getting involved here would be a wise decision or not. It's just that we were so desperate, we were willing to try anything.
It doesn't take long to start noticing some names. They are people who have been through the hell you find yourself in, and they've been through it long enough that they've figured some things out. But even better, because of the quality person they are, they feel almost compelled to help others.
He wasn't Jack3Beans when I first came here. I can't remember anymore what his screen name was at that time. But I sure came to know it quickly.
Jeff had a way of knowing whether you needed a 2x4 or a thought-provoking question. He did not hesitate to call bs on stuff he knew was bs - stuff he knew would only make things longer and worse. And man, what a sharp mind he had. That was what always stood out to me about Jeff - he was wicked smart and he could read my words and know just what I was thinking.
I always hoped we would get to meet one day.
People, when you get a chance to do something you always wanted to do...find a way to do it. You never know if you'll get another chance. I'll cherish the trip last month for a long time, especially for the look on his face when he saw us coming up the stairs.
Like many from my time period on the board, I probably had more contact with Jeff after I left the board. Man, how I loved discussing issues with him. It thrilled my soul this past year when he and I were actually pulling for the same presidential candidate for while. I mean, if Jeff supported the same candidate I was supporting, I must be thinking right, you know?
I'm glad he's not bound to that wheelchair anymore - that's about the only good thing I can think of in his loss. I'm so sad for his parents, for his wife, and especially for the boys. I can't imagine the difficulty of losing such a son, husband, and father.
God bless you Jeff. Though we met only once, you were one of my most valued and cherished friends.
Though he didn't write this at the end of his posts, like some of the other guys did, Jeff was the embodiment to me of ...
...Strength and honor.
Love you my friend.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
I never did meet Jack in the real world. I loved his comments and straight to the point advice. It encouraged many to not just have better marriages but to become better people.
As with most posters, we either agreed or disagreed but always with a matter of respect. I can't believe he's gone. He was just here a week or two ago saying he was going on vacation.
I hope you have a well deserved rest my friend. I hope you're still watching out for those in bad marriages up there.
Rest In Love my friend.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
