I have forgiven myself but sometimes the regret for what I did to her and to us creep in and breaks me down. I think I might carry that for the rest of my life and I'm ok with that. It is my cross to bear.
She text me this afternoon and asked if she could ask me a question. I said sure like a dummy before I realized it. Then nothing from her. I left my desk for a few minutes and when I happened to look at my cell I see she had called. Yep, I called her back but it rang twice then voicemail. I didn't leave a message and I haven't heard from her since.
Should I go complete NC 100% for sure like scorched earth silence? I'm like what else can she do to me now right?
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
This is just my opinion and is by no means the gospel.
Your wife is cheating on you. Try to envision how she views you when she is cheating on you with another man and you are calling her back. Does she see a man of strength? Or does she see someone willing to accept any scraps she may throw your way?
Women like strong men, right? Let her think you're strong and not willing to be number 2. You can do this by going dark (and sending the message she is going to lose YOU).
I overheard my w tell my mom tonight that she doesn't love me and is leaving for good this time. I don't have control over her. But I sure as hell am not gonna let her see me panic and cry. She can leave. And one day a year from now, she will realize that she thee away the one guy that was crazy enough to put up with her. I hope and pray when that happens, that I'm a free bird and not looking back. That's my goal.
Now, it's gonna sting worse than anything I've ever felt but damn it, I'm a good man. And I've been to hell and back for this woman and forgiven her countless times. When times for tough, I stepped up. She ran.
Making these tough decisions is scary. We feel scared that standing up for ourselves will push our wives away. You know what? She's already gone. She's been Gone for quite some time. Face your fears and live your life without her.
The advice I just gave you is intended for you as much as it is for me.
Let's get through this together and give ourselves the best chance of meeting our goal.
Like 2 weeks after she moved out she called me on speaker phone so OM could hear I'm sure and told me she was with OM now and that she's in love with him. She said to go forward with the divorce because it is over. That was on Thursday and I filed the non-contested divorce the following Monday at the court house.
Hearing is set for May 8th and now she is telling me she doesn't want the divorce and that I made her sign the papers.
I don't want the divorce myself but I want to buy a house and with her low credit score I will not be able to. She has amassed an enormous amount of debt and defaulted on tens of thousands of dollars in loans as well as a new car repossession.
If I do not show up for the hearing then the divorce will be put on hold until a new hearing is scheduled.
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
W Why can't you even talk to me? Why can't you be my friend anymore? I just dont understand why you choose to abandon me. Knowing you were the only thing I could trust. As a person I at least deserve to know why.
Me It is him or me and you chose him.
W I wish you all the best with whoever you are talking too. I hope u make her very happy.
Me No reply......!
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
Picked up my grandson6 this morning for Donuts with Dads, Dad had to work so D30 asked if I wanted to go. While I was there D30 told me that W was supposed to spend Saturday night with them. I told her I thought that was great then I changed the subject. C said that W was being manipulated and controlled by OM and W has told me that she is being controlled by OM.
W and OM have been almost constantly together since W moved out due to neither having a job. Now OM has the only car and he supposedly is working now where in the beginning she had the money and the car and provided everything for him.
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
Why can't you even talk to me? Why can't you be my friend anymore? I just dont understand why you choose to abandon me. Knowing you were the only thing I could trust. As a person I at least deserve to know why
I really hope you don't fall for that line of shite.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Why can't you even talk to me? Why can't you be my friend anymore? I just dont understand why you choose to abandon me. Knowing you were the only thing I could trust. As a person I at least deserve to know why
I really hope you don't fall for that line of shite.
I know right? I almost fell over when I read that. Not to worry, I'm not falling for any of it again.
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
Better yet, just let her be totally and get on with your life. Cheating is an absolute despicable - and worst - thing a spouse can do to another. Don't roll over. Don't do anything. Stand up and move on.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
