No changes. She is continuing to work but makes a point to do something with her family once a month. I hear it's quite a show with her overplaying how happy she is with her life, then snapping at her family for perceived slights.
Together 7 years Married 3 Said she was taking long way home late January Left to get some space 2/19/17 BD 3/1/17 ILYB
I mean, I am going about my life how I want to. Moving currently which isn't fun but I'm getting into the job I started and hanging out with more people when I can. Wife actually called yesterday (we haven't talked in I don't remember how long) and I didn't answer because I was out with some people. She texted and asked if I could talk and I said I was busy. She asked about today after work (like 5 mins from now). I guess I'll see how that goes.
Together 7 years Married 3 Said she was taking long way home late January Left to get some space 2/19/17 BD 3/1/17 ILYB
So, I've gone Dark by and large, for the last 6 months+.Every time we talked she assumed I was trying to emotionally manipulate her or she'd say how she needed to finalize certain things in order to find stability. So I told her I wasn't going to talk About those things right now. She ended up going to Yosemite with her mother for a week and getting a job as a sales associate back in August.
She's sent me a couple messages here and there but nothing too in depth. I reply and make pleasant responses but don't force conversation or drag it out. I did ask if she would like to have dinner after the holidays and she said yes. She mentioned talking about some things like separating the car. Nothing seems to be changing.
Together 7 years Married 3 Said she was taking long way home late January Left to get some space 2/19/17 BD 3/1/17 ILYB
Hey, giftd. Thanks for letting us know how you're doing.
As long as that wall is up, every attempt to try to give love to her, may be turned into "manipulation", which is typical of a WAW. But if you can get her to open up to you, your same loving behaviors will be taken with gratitude and likely reciprocated.
Are you taking good care of yourself, giftd, and being the best man you can be? That's the best thing you can do for yourself, whether she appreciates it and comes back to you or not. It's also the thing that's going to maximize how attractive you are to your wife or another woman.
I've been doing the best I can on myself. This time of year is hard with Seasonal Affective Disorder. I can get pretty dark. Contract on my job ran up at the start of the new year and I've had trouble finding another similar one. Got a lead today on an other contract position that's much closer by. The commute to the last one negated a lot of the benefits.
The dinner went well enough. She's lost 61 lbs and seemed to imply that she wasn't "eating her feelings" anymore. She is working in a warehouse and a leather working shop. A drastic change from the masters in toxicology and having an impact on the world like she wanted before. It's difficult for me to see her truly happy doing this but she seems determined to be. She said she's barely talking to her father and she gave up the ferrets to a friend. I did my best to smile and put my best self out there but honestly after 45 minutes it was hard for either of us to hold it in. She got some teary eyes and it got to me.
Starting to get the background noise of "get an answer and move on" from the people around me. They are worried I'll waste my time by not moving on.
Together 7 years Married 3 Said she was taking long way home late January Left to get some space 2/19/17 BD 3/1/17 ILYB
I think it's important that you move on when you are ready to move on, not when others are ready for you to move on. It's not their life. It's yours. And whatever choice is made won't impact them virtually at all, compared to how the choice will impact you. It's easy for people who aren't attached to your wife, the way you are, to say "move on". Your wife means very little to them, compared to how much she means to you. It's also easy for them to suggest that you find someone else, when it won't be them having to make it happen.
My dad wanted me to move on after about 100 days. I'm like, how do you give up on someone that you were with for almost 365x10 days, after only 100 days of waiting for them to come around. My relationship with my wife was worth a lot more to me than a mere 3 months of waiting. I know you've been waiting a lot longer, but the point is to move on only when you are ready.
Is she showing any signs of softening up? Remember, you have to look for very small, but very noticeable, changes. Do you know what changes to look for? MWD talks about this.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
