Well after weeks of waiting for her to initiate some type of reconciliation talk. I am taking things into my own hands.
Rather than blindsiding I plan to purpose this conversation for this weekend.
“Hey, I’d like to talk with you about us and our relationship, figure out where we’re going and what this all means. How does Saturday work for you?”
How does this sound?
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Well, I initiated the discussion for Saturday and it was well received. We will meet for no more than an hour to figure out where we’re going and what this all means.
I am preparing how to respond if she says she is still not sure.
Any advice is appreciated and needed.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Just got back from delivering oldest 18D to college 800 miles away. I'll update when I have a second. Thanks for asking.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Sorry for the radio silence. I lost my father in November and had been dealing with that. Well, I'm back. W has moved out of BR yet has been hyper nice and respectful for months, except when I have initiated sex. This is when things go south. Last time I tried to initiate, she said she felt bad after we do as well as she reminded me that she planned to move out of the house at the end of the school year.
The time before that she initiated. I'll fill in more details when I have more time.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
So basically I have begun all the "rules" again. There is no more kisses goodbye or hello. She is very nice and I limit contact. Stay positive and never pursue. GAL and never pursue are my mantra.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Refresh my mind. She has shown no remorse. She has not ask for your forgiveness, any emotional breakdowns over her infidelity, signs of humility......or anything exept niceness? Did she volunteer to leave the bedroom, or did you ask her to leave it?
Am I understanding correctly that she initiated sex once and you tried to initiated once. But she feels bad whenever you have sex with her? And, her plans are to move out of the house. Do I have everything right so far?
If this is where you sit currently, then I would not consider you in piecing, yet.
If she wants to leave, then don't stand in her way. Let her go. She needs to make up her mind. However, neither should she expect you to wait for her. (Now, if you want to wait for her to come back home, then just don't tell her the door will always be open or something like that, okay?).
I hope you will start posting more often and giving us more details. Think you can? I'll look forward to the next one.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Now during a fight a few months back she did break down a bit when I was reminding her of what she had put me through. For the first time, she showed remorse but more so about what pain she had cause instead of for what she had done.
As for her moving out, I hear you, and that is the plan. I will not stop or help or show much response at all.
She has been more nice and respectful than I can remember, for years. Once when I explained the mixed signals, she stopped kisses hello and goodbye. But she is more loving in her actions than I can ever remember.
I will post more often and thank you for your response.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
BTW, she chose to leave the bedroom. It was after numerous requests for a separation in which it was always assumed that I would move out of the home. Fat chance.
As for humility? I am often confused by this nice behavior. More consideration and respect than I've seen in a decade.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
