Any advice 5

[gw5263]

Just spent the better part of an hour consoling D14. Apparently OM got her a gift to and W decided to tell her to lie about it. D felt very bad and woke me up to tell me about it. Shethen Rome down in tears and told me she can’t take this, wants it all to go away and our life to go back to normal. W has been telling her to lie about several things apparently. She is something else, dragging the children into this shite storm. Any thing to protect her fantasy and OM. I’m supposed to go in dity in three hours and have had no sleep because of this. My heart was breaking the entire time I was in the room with my daughter. She is a good kid and deserves none of this. She has enough worries of her own, normal teen stuff, and now her friends don’t talk to her, in her upset, she has tied that tothe A. My wife needed to witness this herself, to see I’m not the only one she is causing pain. My daughter worships her and she puts her thru this mess. The first thought that crossed my mind was to go wake the bit&$ up and let her see what her child is going thru. Rest assured this won’t go unmentioned tomorrow. Guess I’ll be taking a sick day..... my kids are everything to me and I hate to see them go they this because mom has turned into some selfish lying cheat. Livid, absolutely livid.

[gw5263]

I’ve slept for a few hours but he events in my previous post still bother me. What is the best way to handle this? How do I begin? It’s one thing for her to cause me pain and anguish, but not my children. She’s using them as pawns and that’s dead wrong. I cannot and will not tolerate that. They’ve done nothing there just innocent bystanders of been hit by this bus. Part of me wants to deliver and also made them to her. In this immediately or leave immediately. She’ll do neither one so that one won’t work. Partman is going back to the beginning of this whole situation, part of me wants to turn this man into the military authorities immediately. She has no idea what she’s dealing with, he has lied to her and manipulated her so much she doesn’t know the truth from ally right from wrong. He’s obviously married, because he lives in base housing still none of the other stories about his military service line up , She doesn’t know what she’s headed it for. And sadly she’s decided to drag my kids right along in her week. I have to iend this now. I could really use any kind of input or advice on this I don’t know where I’m at or what I’m doing now. I was doing OK until my kids got brought into the mix and my daughter had her breakdown last night. It killed me to my heart I can’t stand by and watch this keep happening I have to do something Sandy if your out there I could usesome good advice ,25 ,anybody I need any kind of input on this. This is gut wrenching.......

[neffer]

Very sorry for what you are going throw GW. Please try to stay calm to give your children back up. Stand for them but remain calm in front of the storm.

[LH19]

GW,

I think the first thing you should do is contact a lawyer and find out your rights about leaving the house. I have no problem with you turning the guy into the military. Try to remain strong for your kids.

Hang in there man.

[joejoe1]

GW,

Your kids been in the mix. Your W been telling your children to lie for her.

I think the problem lies with you. You are there father. You job is to protect and shield them, but you are so worried about your W that you are not doing what is needed to be done for your kids.

Remember two months ago when you told us that your W was telling your children not to tell you things about OM. Remember two months ago when you said you need to protect your kids from this.

When is What your W is doing going to be enough?

Your D is hurting and your W seems to only care about her needs. Remember she is not thinking logically, shes in a deep emotional state/thinking. You job is to protect your children through these times. And keep the situation between you and your between you two.

[gw5263]

No worries LH I’m not going anywhere. If anyone does it’ll be her.ive already talked to a lawyer. I know I haven’t been at this long but I’m done. She says she checked out 2 years ago and stayed for the kids. I’m over it all. I don’t need a manipulative lying conniving person in my life.she may change back down the road but right now her mind is firmly made up and I’m not in the mix. I am not wasting anymore time chasing someone who does not want to be with me. She said she’s felt like this for two years . I’m over it all. Time to step out of the ring. My kids are my only concern at this point. As for turning himin, I doubt I will. It’s my go to when I get mad. Fantasy pics in the head of himpaying the price for helping destroy my family. I get it when I picture the very person who helped kill thier family raising my kids with my wife. It would ruin him but what else would it accomplish. I’d have to worry about payback and everything else. Don’t want my kids seeing a wounded animal striking back. I want them to see someone who did everything in his power to save thier family and stood tall when he lost. An honorable man who didn’t stoop to vengeance.

[neffer]

Take care of you children. Take care of yourself. Your W is living on twilight zone now.
You must stand for your values. You stand for your children. Fortunatelly they are old enough to be aware of your w intrigues. Get lawyer´s advise and start moving. But try to remain calm for your own sake.

[gw5263]

I am calm and at peace right now. She is what she is. I’m sitting outside looking at the lake and relaxing. Might get out the metal detector later and see what I can dig up. The lake bed is dry to a point and I always find something. Helps me unwind.

[gw5263]

I’m sorry I’m all over the map with this today. Feels like a major setback for me. I fell for everytrap. She told me she felt like she didn’t love me for the last two years, she wouldn’t consider working on us, the sex we had prior to the A was emotionless and fornpleasure only, that she had grieved thenloss ofnis a year ago and moved on without bothering to tell me. So I guess for the last two years I’ve been used for sex and bills. Who knows. Probably all lies. She sees no problem with making me a summer only dad and letting the man who helped destroy the family raise my kids. I do. Not going to happen. I’ll never sign the agreement. She sees this as me punishing her. I have done nothing to deserve seeing my kids three months a year. Sorry, just emotional and all over the map right now. I’m alone by a fire pit thinking. Wish this site had a calling feature. I’d love to talk to a human being right now. Sorry all.

[sandi2]

I wrote this early today, but apparently did hit the submit key. Anyway, after reading your last post, it sounds as if you had a R talk. Did you......or are you just rehashing things that have been previously said?

Okay, here is the post I wrote earlier.

Call your lawyer. Can you and the kids leave the family home and stay in temporary housing?

I don't think anyone blames you for being so upset. It is difficult to think rationally when we are consumed with rage. So, get a call into the lawyer ASAP, and ask plenty of questions about your rights. Then try to calm yourself down.

For now, I don't think it would be wise to say anything to your W about what she told your daughter, or how OM is lying to her. If you are like a lot of folks, it's real easy to make threats when you are met with defiance. After the heated argument over the gift situation.....I discourage you to dive into another battle that's sure not end well.

Cool down, stay as far away from her as possible. Get your thoughts off the OM, for now, and think about what you can really do about what your W tells the kids. Think about how it will be when you are D and she has them 50% of the time.

If you say anything to your W about what your D said, then your D may not feel that she can confide in you. So, don't let your anger lead your actions.