Any advice 5

[artista]

You are letting her take the kids without a fight... I don't even know what to say about that... That may say something quite significant to your kids... I need to wrap my mind around this...

[Btrow]

it might be better to let her take them right away to go there so there is no three month kid free love fest. Let reality really hit home right out of the gate.

There is still going to be love fest.. Don't doubt that. Maybe it will work out for them. You simply do not know. But even if it doesn't. Who says she'll come running back. Maybe they will stay there anyway. Or maybe, just maybe, they will move back to your area. But custody will remain the same, will it not? Look around, how many returns to the spouse... This is a loose-loose situation I'm afraid.

My daughter thinks that the suns shines out of my wife’s arse, and would be devastated to be away from her. My son would die if he was separated from his sister.

I take it that your kids have no idea what is going on?

[gw5263]

My kids are aware of what is happening, to a point. Andafter sleepingnon this, no, I will not give up without a fight. My concern last night while thinking it thru was that the kids may resent me for what they perceive as making them stay somewhere they don’t want to be . She’s not taking my children to be raised by the very mother fluffer who destroyed thier family.. I will
Fight till the end...... why should I be punished even more. I love my children with all my heart and I will not be cut out of thier lives

[gw5263]

After some semi peaceful sleep I’ve put that notion out of my mind. There will be a fight, I am not allowing her to inflict anymore damage on anyone. My children do not deserve to have thier lives uprooted and be placed in unfamiliar surroundings with a stranger because mom has made some bad decisions and cannot see the damage she’s doing. This will go to court and I will assert my right to my children. In my mind this is me protecting them from moms madness........What judge in his or her right mind will allow a mother to take her children away from thier father and move them 1000 miles away to a man she’s know on the phone? I

[gw5263]

She has complied with every thing I have said. Signed a quit claim on the house, provided documentation from her job so I can save the house. I know it’s because she thinks she has won, but she’s in for a rude awakening when I file and don’t include the agreement for her to take them out of state and out of my life. She’s spent a lot of time working on the kids minds, but I have contacted and scheduled appointments with counselors for both of my kids. They need it desperately because she has immersed them so far into this nightmare. She has gone as far as to say that I am poisoning the kids minds against OM. She can’t see anything she’s doing as wrong. She’d rather hurt me and the kids than hurt the OM by breakingnitnoff withhim. She said as much...... she needs some help. He has gotten into her head so bad she’s willing to finish off this family even if it means hurting the kids to be with this POS. No one in thier right mind would even consider taking thier children away from thier father to live with some one they know over a phone only. She says he’s a good man and will treat them well . I asked her how she knows this when she doesn’t even really know him. Her answer- because she knows him well from the texts calls and FaceTimes.....no point in arguing with her flawed logic, the only thing she will understand is actions. I have put this in motion and now it’s time to see it thru. Seems the only thing that will snap her out of this is to let her go, without the kids, and live with this man whose been divorced three times, court ordered to anger management for domestic issues, and lied to her for almost a year. One the fairy dust wears off maybe she will get her mind back.

[artista]

I am glad you decided not to be a 3-month a year Dad... And I get that you are gung ho... But please do this with a peaceful mind... Have clarity... Don't be rash in your decisions... It's good you had a peaceful sleep... You need that at this time... Still detach... Don't even consider what is waiting for your WW... That has nothing to do with you... That is her business... Her circus... And look at it this way... You are not keeping your wife away from your kids... She is choosing a life without them... Even while she lived there she locked herself away in your bedroom to FaceTime with OM for hours. Your kids were aware of that, and even told you about it... Your daughter came to you when she felt wrong about her mother telling her to keep you from knowing OM sent your kids gifts... keep your sanity... Don't talk too much... Do not focus on WW... And don't forget to continue to work on you... GAL... DB... It doesn't stop because you've made a decision... May you have another peaceful sleep...

[joejoe1]

GW,

LET HER GO!!!!!!! The Fog will disappear when she has to face him head on and confront the lies he has told her.

Onward and forward.

[Verum]

GW, reading your posts tells me that anger is driving your decisions right now. I suggest you slow down a little bit and think about what are the principles you want to personally abide by and what are your goals? I personally want to act honorably so that when I look back on what I did, I can say I did what was right and not reacting to slights with anger. I also have the goal of what's best for my children and have thought thru what that means to me.

There's no "winning" in this sitch. I wouldn't escalate the arguments or difficulties with your W because it doesn't help you with any of your goals.

[gw5263]

I have frustration and yes , possibly some anger. She expects me to lay down and let her make me a three month a year dad willingly. There is no fing way that is going to happen. I am more than willing to meet her half way with 50-50 custody and have told her as much. She says she cannot do that and anything less than her proposal is me punishing her for loving him. Quite the opposite, I will not Ben punished for her loving him. My goals- to end the madness, minimize the damage to my children, minimize his role in thier lives, and move past this to a brighter future. She has destroyed me, she has destroyed our family, she has destroyed our future. I will not and cannot as a parent who loves his children more than anything allow her to seal the deal by destroying my children. She will not get the custody she seeks in court so we will have to go to mediation. I am firm in 50-50 equal time, and in my state that is the norm unless there are extraordinary circumstances. Just because she wants to live with him does not constitute such. She says she has to go to him because she cannot support herself and the kids . This is her choice and I will not be harmed any further by her poor life choices

[gw5263]

Finally got appointments for the kids to go to Counselling. W doesntthink they need it but I do. She’s been playing with thier heads trying to get them excited about living with OM. Also found out he has been court ordered to anger management in the past and has serious anger issues and a quick temper. No way I will allow my children to be exposed to that. I am getting a statement from his ex and will most certainly bring that aspect up in court of it goes that far. The kids are my only concern at this point. She has made her bed, she can lie in it alone