Couple of friends of mine wanted to make a bet with me. The bet is that W will beg for me to take her back by August 15. That's not going to happen so it would be easy to take on that bet.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Why is my spidersense tingeling? 2x4? Right now there is probably nothing that would make her beg to come back to me. But I do think that things would be different. Finally I know what is her love language, what was my part why we are here, I can tell her what I want from her for example. If these are what you mean? Or do you mean that am I the man she wants to be with?
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
People especially friends are going to say things to you to try to make you feel better. As a human you will latch onto these statements because it makes you feel better and temporarily eases the pain you are feeling. Humans will do more to prevent pain then they will to seek pleasure.
It's highly unlikely but not impossible that your W is going to go through the destruction of your family and realize she made a mistake and beg you back within 6 months.
Tell me a little more about this new man P that has metamorphosed in the last 6 months. Who is the man you should be?
I really like the way you make me think about things. What P used to be? P was a scared little fix'em'all doormat when the S began. P was depressed, crying, begging and pretty much lost it.
Then P started reading about marriage and relationship. P has learned about love languages, intimacy, arguing, the art of listening(still learning), effective communication. There's something to start with.
What P should be? P should be a man how will stand by his W and kids like a rock. P should be a man that his W feels emotionally safe with. P should be a man that his kids can rely on in any sitch. P should be a man that doesn't have to fix everything. P should be a man that doesn't lose his cool. There's somethings to start with. Some of them I've already covered.
There's a lot more to learn but I'm getting there little by little!
And W stands for W or new partner someday.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
I have to ask about boundaries, especially regarding communication. Like I've said W texts lot about kids everyday action. To me that is on the other hand nice to hear but on the other hand somewhat cake eating. Like this is a part of our M she wants to keep. And I think, as cold it may sound, it is something we don't have anymore, sharing our everyday life with each other kids in it or not.
Any thoughts?
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
What I would like to say is that since she made the decision to not be a part of our family anymore, she has no right to report/get reports of our daily life anymore.
I've read the boundary threads and still trying to grasp mine. I don't think I've ever had any boundaries. Especially towards W. Isn't that a nice guy thing?
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
