Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Just took down all the pictures of the W and me in the house and unfriended her on all social media. Time to move forward. She's not woth the headspace. Don't get me wrong, I'm still standing for our M, but the everday reminders are not necessary...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Question regarding taxes. I am head of the household and have been the only one paying any bills for 2017. Should I file separately as married and claim the kids as dependents. W seems to think that she is entitled to half of the child credits, yet she only worked about a month and a half last year.
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Just took down all the pictures of the W and me in the house and unfriended her on all social media. Time to move forward. She's not woth the headspace. Don't get me wrong, I'm still standing for our M, but the everday reminders are not necessary...
Pay it no mind, it can change in a heartbeat. It's just posturing and in any case her mutinae are petty.
If you need Intel for a D get screens hots. Otherwise ignore as it is teenage girl petty.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
W has sent several messages over the past 2 days asking why I deleted her on Facebook. I have not responded. Just sent me another text asking if I'm ignoring her. I'm not sure as how to respond. I'm guessing I should just tell her that I have nothing to say. She called me yesterday while I was at work, asking why I was ignoring her. I told her I wasn't. She said she would be signing the lease to her new place today and would be by to get her things sometime this week. I said, "OK. Sounds good." and told her I needed to get back to work and ended the conversation. I really don't want to talk to her, but I don't want to seem like I am being rude either. Trying to come up with a response to her text...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Personally I wouldn't reply to the FB question. You are two separate peeps, she is moving on.
You can have your privacy, you do not have to be friendly if you don't want. And silence isn't rudeness, there is a technique called grey rock, in which you stay as boring as you can in responses. Bland, Bland, Bland such as I haven't anything going on at this point in time.
She is moving on as are you.
"WW, your apartment sounds good, no doubt you will move in swiftly and settle soon. That's good. I don't consider I am ignoring you and I will think about it."
And you think about in for half a second.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
W pulled me into a 45 minute conversation yesterday on the phone over all the same old BS. Said I was ignoring her and it was not helping our situation. That it was things like that, that are pushing her away. I told her I really didn't have anything to say to her. If she needed to talk about the kids, she could send me a text and I would get back with her. Instead, if I don't immediately answer my phone, I get texts that say, "Stop acting like a child and answer your phone" or "I guess you're ignoring me again". Nothing of any substance though. She told me she wants to meet with the lawyer with me, I stuck to my guns and said no, that I wanted to see one by myself because I wanted to know my rights and there was no reason to be there. She thinks I'm going to go there and make her look bad. I told her I wasn't going to tell them anything I hadn't already told her. (Which a lot of it does make her look bad, but that is not my objective, I'm just going to be honest about the situation). She demanded that I give her the house key back so she could get her stuff from the house, and I told her she was more than welcome to get her things while I was there. She's still mad about me unfriending her on social media, and says I'm being childish. That we still need to be able to get along for the kids. I agreed that we need to get along and told her it had nothing to do with that. That I didn't really care what she was up to and didn't want a daily reminder when scrolling through my newsfeed. I told her I wasn't interested in being "friends"...
She signed the lease to her new place last night, and her uncle is buying her stuff to furnish it today. Uncle has been a huge enabler of hers for years. Anytime things aren't good or she goes on a binge, she complains to him about how much of an a-hole I am. Then he encourages her to leave and throws money at her. Of course he's only getting her side of the story, and he seems to be fine with that...
I will be continuing to take care of myself and the kids and be doing my best to avoid any of the drama that she wants to create. Lately, it's been threats of no longer wanting to go to MC if I don't give her what she wants. I've been sticking by my decisions, and tell her if she doesn't want to go to MC, that's her choice...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Keep it up! Her behavior shows she is not happy with losing the control over you that she so wants. In fact, I would tell her the MC is off the table. You won't go. Tell her if she ever decides to come back home permanently, fully committed to the MR, then you will consider MC. Until then you will do IC for self improvement.
All of this behavior is classic behavior. She sees you are pushing her away and she doesn't like it! Just stick to your guns. As flaky as she sounds it won't be long before she gets evicted from the apartment for not paying rent. And enabling uncle will only go to the financial well so deep before he cuts her off. Just wait it out.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks, Steve. I'm doing the best I can, but it sure is hard. I'm just glad to have a place like this to vent and get good feedback from...
Originally Posted By: Steve85
As flaky as she sounds it won't be long before she gets evicted from the apartment for not paying rent. And enabling uncle will only go to the financial well so deep before he cuts her off. Just wait it out.
As much as I wish this were true, I don' think it will be the case. Her rent is $900 a month, but she is getting assistance from CEFS and they are giving her $800 a month for her rent. And as far as Uncle Enabler goes, he has no problem going deep into the financial well. He did it before in 2013 when she left the first time. That time he bought her a car! He is aware of her issues with pill addiction, and still has no problem giving her money left and right. And in my opinion, handing over money to an addict is only going to hurt them. And in his eyes, he's helping...
Last edited by Cadet; 03/07/1807:10 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
