One of the things we implemented was her taking back over the grocery shopping. I had taken it on because before several raises/promotions we were on a budget. She admits that she has a tough time staying within budget and is very much an impulse shopper.
So today she went grocery shopping for the second time. Normally when I grocery shop, even when we need some big ticket items like dog food, laundry detergent, etc, I will spend about $150. In fact we budget about $600/month for groceries and other household items.
Her bill today was $350. When she told me I didn't say a word. I just said, "oh okay". I believe this was a test to see if I would react the way I would of prebomb. First of all, when she went to the store I would have told her "please be reasonable". She hated that. I said nothing before hand.
Then when she said $350 I would have said "HON! That is way too much!" But I didn't say a word. She even started by saying "I spent way too much! I spent $520." I never batted an eye. Then said "No $350." And just shrugged and went back to what I was doing.
I think this was clearly a test to see if the changes I've implemented in myself are for real. She knows that overspending was a huge hot button issue before.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I think this was clearly a test to see if the changes I've implemented in myself are for real. She knows that overspending was a huge hot button issue before.
Your mind reading....she could have done it to just piss you off.
I think this was clearly a test to see if the changes I've implemented in myself are for real. She knows that overspending was a huge hot button issue before.
Your mind reading....she could have done it to just piss you off.
Either way...good job on not taking the bait.
Thanks. I agree I shouldn't be mind reading. But to me it was clearly a test.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
One of the things we implemented was her taking back over the grocery shopping
By saying, "We".......are you referring to the counselor?
I fail to see how this will benefit the MR, if your W cannot control her spending. It is a fast way to add a new problem on top of your current one. Why not go together to buy groceries? It would get her out of the house, and be easier on the wallet.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
One of the things we implemented was her taking back over the grocery shopping
By saying, "We".......are you referring to the counselor?
I fail to see how this will benefit the MR, if your W cannot control her spending. It is a fast way to add a new problem on top of your current one. Why not go together to buy groceries? It would get her out of the house, and be easier on the wallet.
We as in her and I. The MC wasn't involved. Money really isn't d's an issue anymore.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Took your advice. She joked about it yesterday because our D was staying the night at a friend's house. I said "okay, tonight then! "
We went to bed about 10pm after she got a shower. I had showered earlier. We were up until 1am. It was like when we were dating. It was the best in a very very long time. She was so into it and didn't want to stop.
So apparently she was not testing. She was just really horny. Obviously I'm trying not to read too much into it. I'm trying to stay cool and detached. But the fact she even followed through was a shock. I expected an excuse. I expected her to show she didn't want to but was going to begrudgingly. None of that. The only thing that wasn't present was kissing. But since the last time when she requested no kissing. I figured I'd let her initiate that if she wanted. She didn't but that is fine.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
