I have been following along but not posting. I am not a vet but a fellow journeyman. I used to think great sex was a good sign until I found out she was cheating on me at the same time. I hope it’s different in your case, but just a warning.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Thanks Gordie. It would be nearly impossible for her to be having a PA. We use Life360 as a family. And we have a Ring smart doorbell. She has not been turning off Life360.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I thought I had already responded to your puzzlement over her sudden interest in sex.
If your M has suffered from her not interested in sex.....and now that she's flirting and having online sex with OM.....EA's or whatever......she is suddenly wanting sex for three hours at a time? Why does this confuse men?
Honey, it's not you. I'm sorry, but she is using your body b/c she can't get to OM's body. Her desire was triggered by someone else. Now, if that's okay with you.........then enjoy the sex while she's hot. But do not believe she is emotionally over the online activity. I don't know how to be much more plain about it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
ty Sandi. I'm avoiding the R talks now going on 3weeks. Looks like we'll miss counseling for the third week in a row due to my daughter's hs basketball team being in the state championships.
So I'll just continue doing what I've been doing.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
You better get a handle on this quickly. Are you in IC?
She can feel this and it is a big turnoff. How can you change this?
We are in MC. I know I need to do IC as well but haven't found a faith-based counselor I am comfortable with yet. Too bad MWD doesn't have a list of referrals for DBing counselors.
look for solution based therapists. They are not that hard to find. Avoid those who want to shame either party and if you are not changing or improving things after 4-5 sessions, it's not a good fit.
This^^ is advice I was given and have practiced. Though we ended up - after 35 years, divorced, it does not mean none of the T's were helpful. Some were, some were not.
Solution based is a fair question - ask it up front. And if you like the T, take their advice,
and if not, find another one.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
