You are correct, Steve. This is what I need to do. Didn't help that I had had a few beers.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Why would I even be attracted to someone that is so slow to apologize and even when she does it often sounds like "I'm sorry, but it's really your fault.."
Most of the time I have my defenses up and can navigate these things, but right after listening to her yammer on about the other tennis team. Validating as she goes. I let my guard down and she got me.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
You are correct, Steve. This is what I need to do. Didn't help that I had had a few beers.
I know I am going to get a reputation as the "anti-alchohol guy". And to be fair I am pretty anti-alcohol. But I would highly highly highly suggest you refrain from drinking when you are going to be interacting with your wife. This stuff is hard enough when you are in full control of your faculties. Throwing alcohol into the mix just really lowers your judgement abilities. I know a lot of people going through this use alcohol as an escape but it is just bad idea.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Good point and I'm not a big drinker anymore anyway. Last night it led to a bit of a text tirade after her disrespect.
BTW, this morning she apologized in person. (why couldn't she have done it immediately last night?) I accepted.
I've been thinking about establishing some boundaries. She said that that disrespectful statement just kinda "leaked out". I guess that's why I'd never heard anything like that before. When you can't communicate like an adult and you can't own your mistakes, you don't get to excuses your leaky statements.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Still holding. All has returned to as before. W seems happy. We ate alone together as 15D had a Spring dance. Today I will grill and stay gone most of the day beforehand.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Another good weekend. W seems happy. I Weather was nasty so I stayed close to home most of the last two days. Grilled Saturday night.
Is it possible that WAW never feels any loss? That life just continues and as long as LBS doesn't initiate R talk things just continue without any reconciliation?
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
I think at some point you need to do some work to get over the issues that caused the disintegration of the marriage, or make a decision to go your separate ways. Obviously you can't continue in in-house S forever, right? I mean you aren't going to be happy with that long-term are you?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I'm don't think that I ever gave any indication that work wasn't being done. I think I have, to a large part, addressed my contributions that I am aware of. W has adjusted her behavior as well. Not perfect but improvements have been made.
No in-house S can't go on indefinitely and that is the point.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
I'm don't think that I ever gave any indication that work wasn't being done. I think I have, to a large part, addressed my contributions that I am aware of. W has adjusted her behavior as well. Not perfect but improvements have been made.
No in-house S can't go on indefinitely and that is the point.
But as far as you know she still plans to move out on 5/18? Have you seen any activity to suggest she is working on that? Less than 4 weeks away now, she'd need to be actively working on it to make that come to fruition.
RR17, my wife was wanting to move out, but 1 month after BD dropped all efforts to make that happen. Remember, believe nothing they say and only half of what they do. That goes in both directions (both for negative comments and positive comments).
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
