Heres's my story. I am an usher at my church. My wife approached me and asked for my number. She tells me that she is separated from husband of 6 yrs(no kids). She told me she got married to escape from home because her mom is an alcoholic. We get her marriage annulled and got married shortly there after. 9 months after our wedding our son is born. I now have all that i dreamed of.We continue to go to church regularly because i participate in the mass. 4 years ago my son is diagnosed with anxiety - it puts added stress on our relationship.
We go to MC and he tells us to read the 5 languages of love. After repeated attempts to reach out both sexually and non sexually. I feel unloved, uncherished,unworthy. She has never made me a priority. I shut down. In this process i just stop asking her for sex but kept showed love through gifts acts of kindness and words of encouragement. She goes away to visit her sister whom in my 20 years with my W has been thru 6 failed relationship. Her sister is a so called life coach practicing reiki and all the new age religion. She believes ion physchic readings, tarot cards , astrology - all the things the church is against.
October 2017 W comes home says I want out. i have not been happy for a long time. I don't love you anymore. After this happens my son sees that his mom just quit on this marriage and will no longer try. He barely talks to her he so angry. She says she is moving out to an apartment in 3 weeks.
my wife has been the breadwinner and i'm currently finishing my short term disability and will have to find new work due to health issues.
I admit that I have played a part in breakdown of this M but since there was no beating , no cheating , no abuse- I feel it can be saved. Wife said her mind is made up and she is packing to leave. Now i have lost my best friend of 20 years- my family which is all I wanted and will have to sell and move from the house my son only know.
please help!1 sorry for the long post
Last edited by Cadet; 04/27/1812:24 AM.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
LoneWlf, recently went through same thing with my wife. 50 is a precarious age for women. Lots of MLCs around 50, and lots of Ws out there that think that the 50s are their last chance at fullfillment, happiness, finding their own identity, etc. They look at the husbands and families as hindrances to that. My wife was willing to give up custody of her only daughter in order to "find herself".
Let me tell you though, the reality of supporting herself, working a 9 to 5 job, etc rally started to wake my wife up about 6 weeks in. IN fact she made no effort on her plan to get a job, get her own place, and divorce past about week 4.
Read Cadet's links. They are invaluable. Pay attention to Sandi's rules.
And remember, believe NOTHING she says and only half of what she does.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
