World is upside down right now

[othstr]

I have been doing a really good job on myself these past couple of days. I started to look at continuing education classes offered near me. I decided to step completely out of my comfort zone and sign up for a comedy improv class. I figure I can handle a little more laughter in my life! I also decided to pick my guitar back up and continue working on learning how to play. I am currently getting ready to walk out the door for my biweekly boot camp class. Feeling good today!!

[Ste7e]

As a guitarist I give a thumbs up!
I also have a friend who really discovered himself in comedy improv.

[othstr]

I was having a good day and evening yesterday, then I broke a DB rule, I checked his email. He had an email from a property management company, so he is applying for a lease for an apartment... I had a very difficult time sleeping last night, as I have most nights, and I am just trying to focus on me again today, very hard though.

[SteveLW]

Calm down. Contacting and even applying is not the same as signing a lease. WASs sometime do things like this to fuel their fantasy. My W did some of this to. She was even getting emails from the leasing agents asking her when she wanted to come look at available apartments.

Maybe he'll follow through, maybe he won't. More importantly what does this intel change? Does it change your need to detach, 180, GAL and become the best person and spouse that you can be?

[othstr]

Steve85,
You're right, I need to remember that it is not the same. I just feel like everything is moving so quickly. I would have loved to discover the DB techniques before he actually moved out. I don't know if that would have made any more of an impact, but I would have at least had more contact with him and he could see my GAL. I know it is for me, but it is nice to know that they can see it too.

I am still working on detaching, it has only been 5 days since he moved out, so everything is still so fresh.

Thanks for your input.

[SteveLW]

Yes in the beginning things feel like they are meeting at a break neck pace. Felt that way in my sitch too. She was working on her resume, looking for apartments, researching divorce. My head was spinning. Every time I snooped I found more info showing she was either already out of the MR or quickly on the way out.

Eventually things slow down and you feel like you are stuck. Even after my wife gave up on the job search. Gave up on the apartment (couldn't get one without a job) and eventually gave up on the D, suddenly it felt like we were in a place of limbo that we couldn't move past.

Brace yourself, being stuck in place vs. things moving fast is almost worse. Though none of it is fun. None of us signed up for this when we stood up before God and family and friends and recited vows of commitment.

[othstr]

I just made an appointment with Chuck. He is actually able to get me in today, 1 hour 30 minutes. I'm excited to hear what he has to say!

[othstr]

IN 1 hour 30 minutes, not FOR 1 hour 30 minutes

[Davide]

Hey othstr, hang in there! I was struck by some of the similarities of our situation. We were both together for 7-8 years (is the 7 year itch a real thing?) and I am also a teacher. The job is so draining, and when things are going wrong in our personal lives it is so hard to give the energy needed to be effective. Thank god summer break is coming up soon. That is the perfect time to GAL and focus on yourself.

Best of luck!

[othstr]

I was actually doing research to see if the 7 year itch is real! Didn't find much, but still curious. It is weird that during the day at school, all I can do is think about him, in the evening, I am finding things to keep my mind off of him and it is much easier to handle all of this. Are you still communicating with W? I find right now we don't have much to talk about, so their is very little communication since he is not at home. It kills me, but I know it's better for me to detach right now. Thankful my coach told me last night that I can back off, but don't need to go dark.