Its so hard to do the distance thing because I feel rude doing it even though not seeing him right now helps with not feeling so awful with the ups and downs and mixed signals.
NOBODY understands his actions and comments when I tell my close family and friends I lean on for support. Its like an alien took him over. But at the same time I feel like if I distance from him to help myself, he may run farther.
Together for 13 years, married for 8. H is 46 I'm 40 S is 6 Bombdrop in April 2018 Still in limbo as of 2019
That pursuit/distant crap is so confusing and exhausting. I'm somewhat in the middle if that myself, or so I think, haha. I sometimes just want to say, "stop with these games" but I can't for obvious reasons.
I get what you mean by the being rude. I feel the same. You aren't being rude, it just feels as such. As long as you aren't being out right rude, then you probably aren't. It's because you care for him that you feel this way.
That pursuit/distant crap is so confusing and exhausting. I'm somewhat in the middle if that myself, or so I think, haha. I sometimes just want to say, "stop with these games" but I can't for obvious reasons.
I get what you mean by the being rude. I feel the same. You aren't being rude, it just feels as such. As long as you aren't being out right rude, then you probably aren't. It's because you care for him that you feel this way.
So be proud of me. My son wanted to call his dad so I called his cell and then helped him talk to his dad for a bit (he's still young and doesn't get the phone yet) and then helped him politely say goodbye and I love you. Then without talking to my husband I showed him how to hang up the phone. That was a first for me to do and it felt good honestly. Usually I take the phone back and we talk for a bit of small talk before we hang up where my husband gives mixed signals like crazy. Its just too much so I'm working more on the distance and last resort technique. these ups and downs are just too much right now and I'm fed up with his mixed signal casual attitude one minute and sad puppy dog faces and attitude the next.
Together for 13 years, married for 8. H is 46 I'm 40 S is 6 Bombdrop in April 2018 Still in limbo as of 2019
See, and you weren't being rude. You should be proud.
I totally know how you feel. Mine has been daoung it all weekend and it's driving me nuts!!! I'm so ready to throw in the towel, the head games are getting old.
See, and you weren't being rude. You should be proud.
I totally know how you feel. Mine has been daoung it all weekend and it's driving me nuts!!! I'm so ready to throw in the towel, the head games are getting old.
Oh I know! After I did the phone thing with my son at bedtime where I let him hang up without me talking to husband, husband messages me a little while later telling me happy mothers day and how he feels like a dirt bag saying that considering everything that happened and how Im his sons mom and a very good one. That and hes sorry that he couldn't take him for the day to give me a mothers day break. I just said a polite two word thank you reply and left it at that.
I would love to make things work when he gets through this MLC but I just cant deal with the ups and downs and mixed signal crap right now.
Together for 13 years, married for 8. H is 46 I'm 40 S is 6 Bombdrop in April 2018 Still in limbo as of 2019
Husband doesn't have an iphone anymore but I'm sure Skype could work. I make myself scarce when he comes over now, either going out for a bit to do errands or things for myself or else I just go to another room or out to the garden.
Together for 13 years, married for 8. H is 46 I'm 40 S is 6 Bombdrop in April 2018 Still in limbo as of 2019
I don't get it either OP. I wish you good luck. I have been going through some of that too, though my situation seems worse. Hopefully you can use the LRT successfully and get your mind and heart in a better spot.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
