So I called to have the vet come out to euthanize our dog tomorrow. The saddest phone call I've ever made. I cried afterward for the first time in like 40 years. Even losing my father last November didn't bring a tear. A lot has built up and I guess I was due.
So something my W said during our discussion last night has stuck with me. She said, "I definitely don't feel cared for".
Not sure what to do with that but since I'm to really listen to what W is saying. Any insight is appreciated.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Likely a manipulation attempt. I'd ignore it for now. Your 180s will take care of that eventually.
Sorry about the dog. I know the sting of that many many times over. The joy they bring to our lives vastly outweighs the heartache of having to say goodbye. But it is never easy.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
ovrrnbw, seeing that the beach trip was an add-on and surprise to the discussion regarding the dog. I was angered and the details are a little blurred. We weren't shouting and such but I now recognize that I was mad. I think we were discussing the current dynamic in the home as well as how she might feel if the shoe were on the other foot. I often now feel like I have to explain these things that seem self-evident. She probably felt attacked and as Steve said it was a manipulation.
If so it was not the typical MO of passive aggressive dismissal.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
RR- Sorry about your dog. Having a strong bond with mine- I fear having to go thru what you are experiencing now. As for your W maybe the sitch with your dog has changed temporarily changed the dynamic between you and W. Putting you both more on edge. Hope it works out for you none the less. Blessings!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Thanks, everyone. Sad day here and I'm sure tomorrow will be too.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
In your case talking about the dog and maybe your sadness
They have to shift attention back to themselves
Remember they are the center of the show
How dare you inject yourself and your feelings into it
And guess what
That one comment she made
Made you stop and think all about her and what did she mean by that
It worked
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Yes, it sounds like she is wanting to bring the attention back to her. I understand the sitch with your dog. A couple years ago, based on a Google search, I thought my dog had a brain tumor. Luckily that wasn't the case but I cried and cried. I completely understand. Pets are family.
Sad day here. We did the right thing and everyone was kind to each other.
Thank LW, Steve, and Gordie, I think you are correct. "I definitely don't feel cared for" is an irrefutable counter to my accusation regarding her beach trip planning.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
I know the sting of that many many times over. The joy they bring to our lives vastly outweighs the heartache of having to say goodbye. But it is never easy.