Don't be too hard on her parents. Remember, she is feeding them the story that you are Satan right now. Just stay strong and steady and maybe one day their eyes will open to the truth.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I love your attitude on your child, children come first. Whilst grandma and grandad may be a safer pair of hands than WW right now they are not a parent.
And please don't assume that because WW is their daughter that they are appeasing and supporting. They may be tolerating so they can stay a safe pair of hands.
Don't mind read, you may P in the soup.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I have tried my hardest to not blame them for her behavior, but it's hard. Ever since I moved here they have been my family and support. It's hard to not feel abandoned by them as well.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
Met with a good friend early this morning. He has been very supportive through all of this. After that meeting I sent her a text letting her know that on the weeknights I have been spending with our son that I would be keeping him overnight going forward. I feel like every time I take him back to her parents and she doesn't come home to him that I am letting him down. It feels like she is using custody of our son as a way to maintain some control over me, but I feel no obligation to her as long as she involved in the A with OM and behaving the way she is. I just want to do what's best for my son.
It makes me so sad sometimes when he smiles at me and I can see her in his face so clearly. He is such a sweet and sensitive kid. I just don't understand how she can do this to him.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
I do the same with my in laws, vilify them and think they should have supported me and not him. Think they are being inhumane, but I am really making them scape goats of my anger. Remember children always come first, they are also doing exactly that for their own child. Focus on your son, he has no part to play in this but is suffering the consequences. Don’t beat yourself on how she can be so callous, I do the same it’s of no use. Shower more love on your son whenever you feel WW is not doing it.
Thank you Arshi. I know my situation isn't unique. In fact, it feels like she's reading from the same script as all of the other WW's I have read about on this site. Somehow though, that doesn't relieve the pain she has caused. I'm doing my best to just focus on the future for myself and my S. I trust that God will get us through this, I just hate that I will have to miss out on such a big chunk of his life and memories. I feel like depression already robbed me of so much time with him in the last couple years and that guilt is making me irrationally want to fight for a MR that is already over.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
Talked to my lawyer today. She is going to send over our proposed changes to their separation agreement proposal. I am way more calm and level today than I have been since I talked to her earlier this week. I just want to get this done and secure my time with my son.
I definitely was hurt to find out that she left me for someone more than 20 years older, but I'm not sure why that bothered me as much as it did.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
I'm skeptical of how calm I've been today. I know it isn't the anti-depressants, because SSRIs just don't work in one dose. I even saw her for a couple minutes today picking up my son and it didn't effect me the way it usually does. I was just too excited to pick him up for the weekend. This is the first day in 12+ weeks that I've actually felt like I'm going to be OK. Didn't break the streak by having a day with no tears, but haven't hit the kind of low I've been hitting. I really hope I can keep this up and keep getting better.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
It's a roller coaster sometimes, man. Up, down and around again. Sometimes you just have to let the tears come when they need to, but always try not to in front of your son, for his sake.
M: 40 W: 37 T: 20 MR: 13 S13, S9, S4 BD: 1/29/18 Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out) 8/24/18 I come home, she moves out
If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.
I never let him see me get upset. If I can't hold it together I go into another room and get it together. It's gotten a lot easier as time has passed.
I made a promise to myself when I was a kid that MY kids wouldn't have to grow up like this. I may fail to save my marriage, but I will do everything I can to make sure he has the best childhood possible. It hurts that my marriage is falling apart the same way my parents' marriage did, but I believe she won't abandon our son the way my father did after HIS affair.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
