No idea. Nothing going on. Crappy day at work so I thought I'd just go home, have a beer, and go to sleep. I know I NEED to GAL but I have literally no idea where to start.
I'm pretty tired from being up all night worrying. I can't understand why I went from feeling great on Saturday, now feeling worse than probably ever before. Just bummed.
Last edited by burned; 08/14/1806:44 PM. Reason: added more
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
No idea. Nothing going on. Crappy day at work so I thought I'd just go home, have a beer, and go to sleep. I know I NEED to GAL but I have literally no idea where to start.
Start by working out. Working out helps you in so many ways, physically, mentally and emotionally. So rather than go home, why not go by the local gym and start a membership?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Burned, you're over 10 pages so time for a new thread. Link your new thread in your last post here, and link this thread in the first post of your new thread.
Originally Posted by burned
Re-reading this entire thread. People want what they can't have. Right now she can't have OM because OM's W insists on NC w/ my W. So, my W is probably missing OM more than she misses me.
And I'm making it difficult for her to miss me, and clearly she doesn't want me when I tell her she can have me.
Yes on all counts. You are right about the dynamics at work. You are old news to her, boring and easy. OM is exciting and hard-to-get and enticing. So how can you flip that script? You need to be what OM is.
And that part I bolded, it applies to you as much as it does to her. You asked elsewhere in your posts about why you can't just walk away, why you are so attached to her. That's what it really comes down to is you want what you can't have. Eventually those overwhelming feelings of needing to get back together will fade and you'll find equilibrium. Then you will be able to detach, and then she may start missing you.
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I'll just keep trying. It's not a fun way to live, I'll say that. The uncertainty is hard to stomach. And when I GAL I'm out seeing happy couples and it makes it worse.
Everyone has their struggles. People usually aren't as happy and carefree as they seem. I've related this story before but after BD my ex and I were at a meet-the-teacher thing for our S. I was looking at the couple on the other side of the table talking and laughing and looking at their son's work without a care in the world. I thought wow, how I miss having that. Here we are right across from you, a broken mess. Then the woman picked up a drawing their boy had made and said to the man "here, why don't you take this one for your house." Yup, here I was thinking they were all happy and they were separated/ divorced too.
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Stuck on the ring thing. Part of me feels like if I hadn't been wearing it, she would have seen that as a reason for HER to lose hope, too. Or at least, permission to distance herself further.
I say this all the time, but no one thing you did got you here and no one thing you do is going to make or break your sitch either. Don't sweat stuff like this. Wear it because you want to. Or take it off because you want to. Regardless, you need to quit analyzing every little detail thinking about how it will impact W and just start living for you.
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The part I don't get is that she is always wearing her rings on the 1-2 days per week when I see her in person. So, overanalyzing it, but to me it means she's still in it, maybe.
Could be, but it's more likely that she's afraid that if she quits wearing them then people will start asking questions, and WAS's hate pressure no matter who it comes from.
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If I'm busy all the time, how will we reconnect? Am I basically just avoiding her as much as possible until she gets frustrated and asks what's the problem?
Your goal right now isn't to reconnect. That will hopefully come later. But before it does, you first have to disconnect. Right now one of you is disconnected and one of you isn't, and that just feels like pursuit and pressure to the one that is disconnected.
