I never had to figure out who I am. I always was whatever people needed me to be. Except that then what they needed me to be changed, and it changed into needing me to be me rather than needing me to be what I thought they needed. NMMNG.
I look at these lists of strengths and values and I see mostly just a lot of stuff that I don't even know where to begin.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
How do I maintain a positive attitude when it's this bleak? When she clearly has figured out something that makes it almost impossible for her to see me in a positive light ever again?
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
Anyway how do I tell her any of this? All of the realizations? To validate what she said MONTHS ago about her concerns that our relationship was dysfunctional because of who I was and how difficult that would be to change. If it's this far gone, why am I doing anything to fix it?
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
Anyway how do I tell her any of this? All of the realizations? To validate what she said MONTHS ago about her concerns that our relationship was dysfunctional because of who I was and how difficult that would be to change. If it's this far gone, why am I doing anything to fix it?
You don't tell her. You show her. Action, not words.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
How do you go from being completely dependent, then even more desperate after having had your heart trampled on, to being hopeless after being kicked out of the relationship that made life worth living... to all of a sudden being so cool that you don't give a hoot what people think of your shirts?
What actions show that? Skydiving and pottery classes? Alone. With almost no joy. Man wasn't made to be alone.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
GAL. 180s. Detachment. Being the best burned you can be.
This means you are busy. With and without other people. Why not skydive alone? Maybe you'll meet some new friends. Find your inner joy! Happiness starts within. Be confident. Be pleased with your life. Be present. Be upbeat.
Do all this for you! And only you.
Believe it or your W will notice. There is a good chance it will intrigue her. And she'll start sniffing around.
She constantly tells you she wants to feel safe. I'm not a betting man but I bet if you show her how happy you are without her she will suddenly feel safe around her.
WASs don't feel safe when smothered. If she feels vulnerable (IE suddenly you are less pushy and always around) she will realize that she DID feel safe with you.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
