Well think of it like this. Right now WAW is really MY plan B. I'm seeing other ladies and having fun doing so. And let's face it...it is pretty obvious that R is not going to ever happen so for now I am entertaining her efforts to communicate solely so I have an in to push for a date...or maybe even a couple dates. If she wants to spend time with me it's going to be on my terms only. If she can't live up to that then she's going to have to accept that casual texts here and there is all she's getting. If she wants to see me bad enough...then she can go on a date with me...she had no other options at this point. It's put up or shut up time for her. Maybe I should say "put out" there LOL!
OK, I get that and I think that's a good place to be. We don't really see the whole picture of your life and interactions here, so we're just responding to what we do see which is "XW texted this and I texted that" so basically we just see the interactions between you two as the entire picture rather than it just being part of a bigger picture.
Sandi just posted this in Did's thread and it's good food for thought:
Originally Posted by sandi2
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W says. We haven't been together for over a year. I'd like to try to slowly be friends and see how that goes.
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! Trap ahead!
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But you want me to like commit to something and that is never going to happen because it's just not smart or healthy. We don't even know each other anymore. I'd like to get to know you, trust would be a very slow thing for me. But I don't think you would be ok w my speed
Read these words carefully. She is talking about having you only as a friend..….not a lover, and not a husband.
Men and women see being "friends" differently after they separate. Men think they can win her back if he's her friend. But let me tell you what "friend" means in girl code...…..no sexual attraction. She'll use you when she has nobody else....and expect you to hop the minute you hear that phone ping. This is the perfect opportunity for you to go dark on her. Stop playing BFF and have the b@lls to stop responding to her text messages. She is simply using you b/c she's bored and doesn't have anyone else to pester every few minutes with her texting addiction.
If you'll tell her you aren't interested in signing up for the buddy club, and stop interacting with her, you just might be able to get her back. But first, you have to jumpstart her sexual attraction, and you do that by dumping her!
Okay so today she's a texting machine! She just texted to let me know that some snacks I like are on sale at her grocery store. So I guess she remembers the junk food I like at least.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Oh I didn't see that last post about Sandi. The difference is WAW knows full well that I am NOT at her beck and call. she knows I make zero effort to communicate with her. She knows I can go weeks, months without talking to her. She knows have a bust social life. So if my WAW is sitting at home grinning and saying to herself..."yeah he can't resist me" then she's an idiot. She had zero reason to think that...and going forward with my plan of no meetups, she'll see that even more clearly.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
So if my WAW is sitting at home grinning and saying to herself..."yeah he can't resist me" then she's an idiot. She had zero reason to think that...and going forward with my plan of no meetups, she'll see that even more clearly.
that's what you say and that's what you think... but you have given yourself--your inner-self--away... you are there when she calls on you... you have overstayed... you have replied to insignificant temp-checking texts from her... you have made a comment here and there that tells her more than you think... all those teeny-tiny little things are all she needs from you at this time...
It's been weeks, where have you been? Most likely nothing new to report but you've got to have something going on so give us an update buddy!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
