She hasn't really said anything the last 2 days. Even this morning she acted like she was mad about something. I'm not going to ask obviously, but most of last week was pretty pleasant. This weekend was very cold. Whatever
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Just keep detaching T. Sometimes it is useful to print some of the main posts of the forum. Go and look at Cadetīs first post for instance. There are things that we should be reading every day. It helps our minds!
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
I do read them every day. I'm following most of them pretty well I think.
Their mindset is just amazing to me. Even when she takes responsibility for her actions, there's always a 'but' after it. 'But the reason I felt this way was because of you.' It's so frustrating.
She has an IC appt tomorrow I think. I think it's awesome she's going, but obviously have some fear that the IC will guide her into being comfortable with leaving the M. Certainly not a thing I can do about that, so I shouldn't even worry.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Both sides have fog. You're only one month in, better buckle down! Lots of work to do either way this thing goes.
Yes indeed. The LBS remembers nothing but good things about the M and puts the WAS on a golden pedestal, and the WAS remembers nothing but bad things about the M, all of which are blamed on the LBS. With time both sides come out of the fog. The LBS remembers the M wasn't always a bed of roses and the WAS remembers it wasn't always terrible. In other words they both come back to reality.
The WAS usually also comes to the realization that there is no White Knight waiting to sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to a glorious castle in the clouds to live out her years in peace and prosperity. It's all just fantasy. Here's the problem with reconciling- the WAS loves and wants that fantasy so bad and reconciling means giving up the fantasy. It's going back to the same old life and same old spouse. That's why DB'ing is all about remaking yourself into "the spouse only a fool would leave", because she doesn't want to go back to the old you and old M. She wants something new and different, and after a while she may come to realize that YOU are the "new and different" she's looking for.
