But the folks here are following a specific strategy
So really hard to give you advice if you are doing something else
No judgment
We are all trying
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
That’s right. I can not afford a db coach right now.
Why am I feeling that I’m defending myself to work in MY issues that caused the failure of my marriage? At NO point have I said or implied that I want to coerce or manipulate W into R. NONE.
I came here because I am flawed and want to fix myself so that I can be attractive to someone who is worth of me (W primarily).
Does db address my NGS? Does db address my FOO? Did db help me finally have a great working relationship again with my parents?
NO
So why am I being vilified for the choices I am making when it’s clearly helping other parts of my life???
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
I know your intention to help. And I’m not mad at you.
I’m hurting and lashing out. And it’s wrong of me to do so.
You and many folks here have helped me unearth a lot of my issues that I’m addressing now. And I’m beyond appreciative for that.
I’m just hurting after a difficult evening yesterday. I didn’t do or say anything that would be considered pursuit, but it took every ounce of my strength to not say anything to W. I’m drained.
Does db address my NGS? Does db address my FOO? Did db help me finally have a great working relationship again with my parents?
NO
IN order:
YES. I have no idea what FOO is. YES.
DBing helps you address your NGS because it gives you things to do that counter NGS.
And yes DBing can help you in ALL of your relationships, I have even used validation at work. So can it help you finally have a great working relationship with your parents if you employee the techniques that apply.
Why are you suddenly so angry and lashing out. These are people that are here trying to help you for no other reason than to help. One of the things you can take from this forum is no one here is trying to get anything from you. We aren't selling anything. We have no reason to lie to you or mislead you.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I know your intention to help. And I’m not mad at you.
I’m hurting and lashing out. And it’s wrong of me to do so.
You and many folks here have helped me unearth a lot of my issues that I’m addressing now. And I’m beyond appreciative for that.
I’m just hurting after a difficult evening yesterday. I didn’t do or say anything that would be considered pursuit, but it took every ounce of my strength to not say anything to W. I’m drained.
I’m sorry.
I’ll post something longer shortly.
Okay you answered my question in your last post. hang in there pain, things do get better.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I'll budget for db coaching. I'll start out with three and go from there.
If surrendering from my MC is what I think it is, then db should follow in the same vein.
Again...I'm sorry for lashing out.
Steve, thanks for weighing in. As I just stated above, I'll schedule and budget for three sessions of db coaching and go from there. I'm going somewhere with this and as you can tell, I want to make it work out. But I'm also convincing myself that getting W back is no guarantee. I'm starting to know and actually accept that.
But I want to exhaust all my options before I throw in the towel on our M. In order to do that, I need to be of sound mind, body and spirit. I'm working on that.
