Clean Slate Pt. 2 (Advice on my Scenario Pt. 24)

[TBSakaJ9]

I agree.....you just have to patient with it. I get a lot of ladies checking out my profile and get several likes a day however not all of them I am interested in and I don't take dates just to take dates. There are some people out there that don't want to mess with young kids, especially if there's are older but on the flip side I see plenty of red flags out there myself. Ladies that are in their mid 40's and never married with no kids is a red flag to me. I also don't reach out to many I just sit back and let them initiate with me. If they like you enough eventually they will.

Another thing you can do is create a fake account as a woman so you can go check out your competition

[LH19]

Let's take this convo to Josephs thread.

[OrangeK]

D is on tuesday. The temptation to reach out to exw and say my piece before d is final is large. The injustice of it all still bothers me from time to time. Those 2 weeks where she was super nice and then went cold again have been on my mind causing some confusion. 10% of me still doesnt want D, while i know its what needs to happen. For months she seemed to enjoy antagonizing me. Went silent for 2 weeks, Then she was nice for two weeks, the back to silence.
Odd. Confusing.

Oh well. D is happening and it needs to. No point in knit picking. S3 has been mostly good with behavior, exluding last weekend which was tough.

Had 2nd date, went well with a bit of a twist. Found out shes 10 years younger than i am. But we are really hitting it off also. Weird territory!!

[TBSakaJ9]

O - It feels like you are doing much better. Keep moving forward!

[neffer]

Glad to hear that O! You are getting stronger.

[OrangeK]

Thanks guys. Knots in belly increasing but i imagine thats just nerves building before D hearing.

Last week i had to bring s3 out when she came for pickup. Sil was sick and brother wasnt home. I just walked him out gave him a hug and got up and walked away. Never made eye contact with EX.
She later texted "i guess your not staying 300ft away anymore?"
I didnt reply.
She still has me unblocked on all social media and has been looking at my pages. I have not reciprocated.

[TBSakaJ9]

O - Stay in your fox hole. Good job not taking the bait Over time she will realize she can't impact you emotionally.

I remember my D day. It was very emotionally draining and I had tears flowing down my cheeks as the judge sealed my fate. It was a very surreal moment but also liberating at the same time. As we walked out of the courthouse my XW rubbed my back and asked me if I was ok. I told her I was fine and walked off. Needless to say I didn't know she probably went home that night and banged her BF.

It is ok if you feel some emotions.

[OrangeK]

Nerves really building up as Tuesday approaches. Infuriating to think of how easily exw threw it all away, and that this divorce is just ok. I have a hard time beliving she hasnt had guilt regret and second thoughts in the dark hours, but i know it would only regret of the loss of image, and that her plans didnt work out how she wanted. Im just built up with anger and disgust as D day approaches. Been flooded with a lot of "happy memories" lately that simply turn rotten in mouth as a look back and see the lies and manipulation interwoven with the "love" over the years. I occasionally come across a memory i believe to have been genuine for both of us. Those hurt. I hope they hurt her when she thinks of it too.

Well. Here we are Hun. The divorce you wanted. Its here in all its glory. All your friends hate you. All my family hates you. Your son is angry and confused. You lost your home and gained a room in an old house with a family you barely know. Youve alienated your own family. Destroyed your car and noth our reputations. Made an embarrassing sham out of our marriage, our family and our lives. All because you lack the emotional security to own your own immaturity and inability to truly love.
It saddens me on a level I cannot find word for to know that the woman of my dreams never existed, but more so to know that some piece of the woman I loved is deep down inside somewhere crying in pain. crying out in the dark of the night knowing that every time this happens it's your fault, and you can't help but do it again and again and that you're going to live your life like this forever. That makes me so sad and I'm so sorry for you. I hope you find peace someday. Goodbye

[Dtrmned]

Good Morning OK,
i know this is a very struggling time for you this week to say the least.
Life is strange, amazing, depressing, fun and overall the best experience those of us at the top of the food chain get to experience. That being said, you are going through hopefully the worse thing that will every happen to you. Eventually, there will be challenges, but the roses and rainbows will appear more frequently.

When everything comes to a close, the emotions and reality comes full force and hits you in the face.

How you react and respond is up to you. One quote from a boxing movie " It doesn't matter how hard you get it, what matters is you get up and keep going" I don't know if that is word for word, but you get the gist.

You got sucker punched. It happens to everyone in a lot of difference aspects in life. This one is way too close to the heart, so its pain is much deeper.

I have followed the entire rollercoaster of what has happened to you. It is phenomenal. I feel your pain, frustration, and utter disbelief where you are in almost all of your posts. Regardless of the outcome, i wish you the best in planning and executing your life for the future of you and your child.

Best of luck and keep busy until Tuesday so you aren't in your head too much.

My small advice. Don't react to anything your W says between now and then without getting some input from the experts (i.e not me) prior to doing anything.

Stay well, focus on you and your child and enjoy your weekend!

[OrangeK]

Thx JS. im sure it's all just nerves and emotions building up as the culmination of this whole debacle nears completion. I've done a pretty good job over the last few weeks of keeping it out of my head, as it gets near it's just more prevalent on my mind and I am more frequently reminded Just how bad everything I needed up. Music has been a big help. I'm fairly sure I posted these lyrics before but out of all the music that I've listened to these lyrics speak to me the most

"You"
By: Bad Religion

There's a place where everyone can be happy
It's the most beautiful place in the whole fuckin' world
It's made of candy canes and planes
And bright, red choo choo trains
And the meanest little boys
The most innocent little girls
And you know, I wish that I could go there
It's a road that I have not found
And I wish you the best of luck, dear,
Drop a card or letter to my side of town
'cause there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend
But baby I'm amazed by the hate that you can send
And you
Painted my entire world
But I
Don't have the turpentine to clean what you have soiled
And I won't forget it
There's a place where everyone can be right
Even though you remain determined to be opposed
Admittance requires no qualifications
It's where everyone has been and where everybody goes
So please try not to be impatient
For we all hate standing in line
And when the farm is good and bought
You'll be there without a thought
And eternity my friend, is a long fuckin' time