thank you stander for your update. I know that compared to MANY others in this world I am very blessed. to go through D twice, both times committed to my spouse and still fail, seems VERY hard to believe it random chance although at least from explaining each sitch to my IC, she tells me that each was unique to itself and the only thing they have in common was you were in both. i just..stupid as it will sound, loved her. i struggle very much with how/why W can just drop us, but I guess that's a pointless endeavor. i'm just stuck stander, simply do not want to turn the page. with women after this utterly cold and cruel abandonment, I just don't see any desire for another try. perhaps in this self-absorbed world, my best option is to become the same way and happy with it.
D had her first day of pre-school. Even though I had her on that day, I thought W would come for such a new important chapter in D's life, but nope. IC says W is on the extreme end of the anxiety avoidance scale so who knows maybe this was why she didn't show. have to speak with atty sometime soon, details of the sep agreement to be discussed. W is full throttle about D'ing me ASAP. maybe that's the best thing, shoot this guy and put him out of his hope and misery. so many memories, dreams, good times flood into me...such a terrible contrast between reality and all the wonderful times we shared. i'm just in a tormented sad state, I hope someday I can find happiness again...at least get these selfish women away from me for good, of course who am I fooling, maybe I was the cause of this failure all along. peace I guess I wish for more than happiness, forever love is impossible and unattainable.
wlf, I marvel at your faith buddy. for sure I'm in a deep challenge to my faith, perhaps that's the whole point of this. for sure it's the worst trial of my life and sadly I feel like I'm losing the battle. i just want to cut free of W and stay far away from the idea of love and marriage for the rest of my life.
Morning B,
I want to say here that I am no different from you- I still feel the pain,anxiety, grief, confusion that we all feel. I want to add that there are times where I do question God and feel sometimes unanswered. With all the turmoil that we are in aside from focusing on S, I feel that having faith helps me to cope. It gives me strength to know that God has got a plan that he will not forsake me. That he will shower me with an abundance of blessings. Sometimes I feel this is all I have to cling to. It does not make me any different from anyone here - we are all feeling the pain. I too question if I can trust my heart with another woman. I'm not sure if I can trust my heart with my W either. I'm just like you buddy- trying to navigate thru these turbulent times. What I'm getting to is- as crappy as life is now- let us focus on what we DO have. We are not in a hospital bed with limited time. We have an opportunity to better our lives for ourselves and others that depend on us. We have people that love and support us. Mostly we must have faith. Faith to know things will turn out for the greater good. Stay strong , stay positive! Blessings!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Last edited by Cadet; 09/06/1801:01 PM. Reason: Link
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
