By the way. Is no R talk and no conflict or R stress a good thing? In sure we are both having R stress but it's not being talked about or acknowledged right now. We are still waiting for scholarship week to start next week. That's when he can be contacted by schools. The day of our anniversary. During the next month we or W will be going to visits at colleges with S.
Last edited by Stryk2; 08/28/1805:44 PM.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Interaction between W and are getting scarce. Little communication and no more goodnights and goodbyes. I'm doing my best to not initiate conversation or pursuit. Worried I may look like I'm ignoring. I don't know what I'm doing?
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Interaction between W and are getting scarce. Little communication and no more goodnights and goodbyes. I'm doing my best to not initiate conversation or pursuit. Worried I may look like I'm ignoring. I don't know what I'm doing?
It's scary. And I can feel your fear through the screen.
How was pursuing and initiating conversation working for you before you got here? How was she reacting when you kept trying to hug and kiss her?
Lets focus on what you ARE doing instead of what she may or may not be perceiving.
You mention GAL in the garage and on the computer. What are your plans for actually getting out of the house and doing some new things?
Interaction between W and are getting scarce. Little communication and no more goodnights and goodbyes. I'm doing my best to not initiate conversation or pursuit. Worried I may look like I'm ignoring. I don't know what I'm doing?
It always gets worse before it gets better. Read lost8's thread.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I dont have any plans outside the house yet. I dont have a vehicle either. My plan is to get the garage in shape to work on some wood working projects for extra income for me. I get home and try to read the DR book and clean garage until W & D get home then its dinner, shower, bath for D and bed. I fell asleep at 9 last night and still feel like I didn't sleep a wink. Barely made it to page 97 of the book.
Last edited by Stryk2; 08/29/1803:27 PM.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
I dont have any plans outside the house yet. I dont have a vehicle either. My plan is to get the garage in shape to work on some wood working projects for extra income for me. I get home and try to read the DR book and clean garage until W & D get home then its dinner, shower, bath for D and bed. I fell asleep at 9 last night and still feel like I didn't sleep a wink. Barely made it to page 97 of the book.
I would say it is INCREDIBLY important to have that time. Even if it's only going to be once a week or something. Even if you are the world's largest introvert (like I am). You need to find some avenues to GAL that dont involve "hiding out" in a "man cave". I dont know where you live, but is there public transit? an uber? a rideshare? Also, I assume your W has a car....can you drive it on weekends ever? after she's home and D is asleep? How about a once a week thing where she is in charge of putting D to bed where you can be the one to go out?
Or if that becomes difficult, what can you start doing with D? Making special meals together? Going to a new park at night once a week? Trying out some new hobby together on the weekends?
Im not saying you need to be selfish and abandon your responsibilities as a parent and within your home. BUT, you need that confidence and self-esteem injection to show you that you can thrive without W. I dont think it's possible to really get that from GAL by yourself. You may be up later, but Im sure you will have a really good night's sleep afterwards!
Instead of thinking of what you CANT do, come up with one idea of a GAL thing you CAN do?
