I responded before I saw your response, so I wrote "yes" and havent heard back. If he shows up here with papers of some sort I am going to have a melt down
DO NOT MELT DOWN. Prepare yourself for it mentally. Remember, he is choosing OW over you. You have already said you don't want to be married to someone that has someone else. Stand up for that. If he hands you papers, simply say "thank you", set them aside (you can read them later). Once you are out of his presence then melt down to the core of the earth if you have to. But NOT in front of him. Detached. Pleased. Present. Upbeat. Listen. Validate.
You've got this kech. You are a strong woman. You don't need a man, let alone one that cheats on you!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I wont do it in front of him, if it means I have to read what you just wrote 20 times today I will. But I just dont even have proof he is speaking to any other women right now. I just know my gut instinct.
I wont do it in front of him, if it means I have to read what you just wrote 20 times today I will. But I just dont even have proof he is speaking to any other women right now. I just know my gut instinct.
kech, 99.475% of the time the LBS' instinct is right about these things. His reaction last night proved it. Trust me on this.Innocent men that care about staying together will hand their phone to their W to prove their innocence. The guilty freak out, lash out, deflect, and run.
He is guilty. Ready2 helped you prove that last night.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
he hasnt responded since I said yes about watching the baby. I hate this so much. Now im in the unknown of if hes going to file and I think he is and I am devastated. I wish I handled it differently because this isnt where i want to be. I dont want him to be angry, I just wanted him to know if hes speaking to another woman, we cant live under the same roof
he hasnt responded since I said yes about watching the baby. I hate this so much. Now im in the unknown of if hes going to file and I think he is and I am devastated. I wish I handled it differently because this isnt where i want to be. I dont want him to be angry, I just wanted him to know if hes speaking to another woman, we cant live under the same roof
kech you can't control him. You set a right and proper boundary. He couldn't live according to it. That is on him, not you.
No one wants to be where we are at when we are facing D. But did you really want to be where you were at for the last several weeks? Sometimes it takes pain to get us where we want to be. I don't know if he will wake up from his fog and come back, or if he will follow through with D. The point is that you could not go on living a boundaryless life. The way you were living was no way to live. It was untenable. Unsustainable. Something had to change.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I just feel like now I am about to go through a TON of pain that maybe could have been avoided somehow, like if I could have been sure he stayed calm and didnt jump to all of these things now like divorce and custody. But I guess I cant control what he does. I just know sometimes we are able to talk and I can really get through to him, and sometimes he reacts so quickly I dont have the chance.
I have the strongest feeling he is going to show up here tonight with paperwork and it is giving me so much anxiety. He knows how to get to me and he knows that will do it. And obviously he doesnt care if we divorce if he starts the filing process etc.
He has talked a big game in the past but when it came down to it he was not ready to divorce or do anything permanent, and now i feel like he is and its killing me.
Last edited by Cadet; 08/30/1802:06 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
