There were messages from another dude. Went somethign like this:
Dude: So are you single nowadays? W: No, married for 10 years
2 Weeks later (last night): Dude: If I could go back I'd have you here with me today Dude: When you went to that wedding in that dress, you made my heart stop
WTF? Do people have absolutely no respect for anybody anymore? What kind of f'n loser actively hits on a married person?
Last edited by Terapin; 09/02/1802:08 PM.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Why snoop? What did it do for you? Something positive or something negative?
People have never had any respect for anybody ever. Usually people get respect when they demand it, or if they're lucky and the other person is decent. All sorts of losers out there hitting on married women and there always will be.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Yep this is why marriage is so hard. As ovr said, people were doing this 4000 years ago. That's why God told the children of Israel " though shall not covet they neighbors wife".
People want what they can't have.
Last edited by Steve85; 09/03/1811:30 AM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hey guys. Apparently that guy is out of his mind. Like a literal mild retardation. He's the brother of a girl W used to know. W says she met him one time 15 years ago at a party for like 5 minutes. W said she completely understands why I'd think something, but swore on sons life that she has no idea why the hell this dork would message her (he mentioned a wedding. She hasnt' been to a wedding without me in at least 12 years...). So, non issue there
Anyway, yesterday was a mixed bag.
the good:
I was completely upbeat regarding her night out saturday. In the past if/when she did something i thought was inappropriate, I'd tell her about it, be mad, not talk to her, etc. Yesterday was a total 180 in that regard
We actually were invited and went back to our BFFs (the employer of previous OM). I wouldn't have, but it was 100 degrees out and son really wanted to swim. Had a good time there for a few hours
We talked about upcoming concerts, and one caught our eye. I asked if she wanted to go and she said yeah sure.
When we got home, W got bombarded by texts from her sister who's really having a breakdown. We had a 2 hour conversation about it.
The bad:
Right before we went to bed (she's been sleeping on the couch), I asked her if she wanted to sleep in the bed with me. She kind of sighed, and went to the couch
She still isn't wearing wedding ring. IDK why that bothers me so much, but it does.
I drafted a putrid fantasy football team yesterday
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
So while at friends last night, I was talking in private to him. He, who's been divorced once, kept making a point that while he hopes W and I can work it out, if she isn't making any effort yet, it doesn't look good. Basically if W isn't 'feeling it' yet/now, we may be wasting our time.
In W's defense, in a way she may be opening up a little (going w/ me on friday night, saying about going to a concert, being very transparent with stuff, etc). But again, it's the physical/intimate things that aren't there.
My friend is somewhat of an idiot, but should W be showing/doing 'more' at this point like he thinks?
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
In W's defense, in a way she may be opening up a little (going w/ me on friday night, saying about going to a concert, being very transparent with stuff, etc). But again, it's the physical/intimate things that aren't there.
My friend is somewhat of an idiot, but should W be showing/doing 'more' at this point like he thinks?
Do not go jumping the gun here and playing the victim and demanding all sorts of things from your W. You have to show her that you are the rock and the man/person she would want to stay with for the rest of her life. She is in no state to grovel. True remorse comes later.
Be the rock, be compassionate, be a MAN, strong and protective. You cannot control her, you can only control yourself.
Steve, on page 2 you mentioned about talk and touch chargers. I cannot find anything anywhere about them. Do you have a link or information or anything?
Today was a decent day. Last night I did some very very light flirting with her, and even touched her a little bit. while she didn't actually respond much, she didn't cringe either.
I did order concert tickets for us for the end of the month. She seems somewhat excited, but it'll probably be just the two of us, and will probably be weird. Who knows though, a lot can happen in 27 days.
Trust is such a big issue for me/us right now. I realize that if I want to proceed with MR or MC, i absolutely have to forgive everything. I hope I can, but I think it'll just take some time.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
I am wearing my wedding ring. that doesn't signify I made a final determination about what to do, but we are still married and it's the right thing to do. plus I don't want you to think I'm trying to pick up dudes with my ringless finger.
What's the reply???
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
