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No mbe, you must know where you are legally standing. Read what Vapo wrote. You should not start anything, but you need to apply DB.

Get into A Man Only A Fool Would Leave.

You can do it man. Action!


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
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mbe76 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Vapo
Seek legal advice. Do not let her bully you into anything. As I remember you were given advice to return to your marital home and after legal advice you decided not to. That is OK, but time for your A-game. It is apparent to me, she wants to bully you into moving out (which you have), keep paying the expenses and basically enabling her. Again, seek legal advice. Instruct the lawyer to come up with a bulletproof plan for you to remain in your home with the children, and if she wishes to leave, she can do so. I feel for you buddy, this really does suck. At BD, my kids were 2 and 5 (now 6 and 9) so I can only imagine the turmoil.

This situation that was thrust upon you will take all your strength to navigate.

Please bite your tongue and do not even raise your voice against your W, record all your interactions and better yet, have a witness present at interactions. IMO you have to establish a foothold somewhere and anchor your ship there. You have to remember she is no more a parent than you and your rights as a father matter just as much.

Regarding your last question, what would it solve if you filed first? What tactical advantage would it bring you? If you are counting on you filing shaking her to reality, forget it. IMO you are only trying to illicit a reaction. This will do you no good.


So let's say that if (after seeking legal advice) the lawyer does come up with a bulletproof plan to move back in and protect myself- given that she has already made FA's- what is to stop her doing the same again? And more worryingly- what she did say was that "if I return home she will leave with the kids and you will be throwing them out of their home" emotional blackmail if you ask me- I have stated that I would not be the one to raise voices or argue and only be the best father I can be. I am so confused right now.

On a funny/ tragic note- my little boy who is 7 said "Daddy if you do get your own house I want to live with you, if you buy me an x-box one and let me play fortnite" Kids eh?


M(41), W(37)
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The bulletproof part is that the kids stay. She is not to move the kids out of the MH, that is the bulletproof part. She does not have sole custody (she may well go for sole custody). Have the lawyer draft a legal notice that she is not allowed to remove the kids from MH without your consent.

Just what exactly are you confused about?

With regards to the kids' "blackmail" you have to nip that one in the bud and remove any and all hints that they have a say with regards to where they will stay.

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Quote
Just what exactly are you confused about?


In that she has made false allegations in the past and that she has said she doesn't want me to return home.If I go back and she files a non-mol order the Police will get me out of the house anyway.

Quote
With regards to the kids' "blackmail" you have to nip that one in the bud and remove any and all hints that they have a say with regards to where they will stay.
it is not the children so much it is her saying she will take the children with her if I return home.


M(41), W(37)
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"I don't know you anymore"
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That's why you talk to a lawyer so that the threat of non-mol is minimised. Filing false accusations is a serious offence. The gall on that woman... Has the affair, kicks you out of your own home, files false accusations and then threatens to take the kids away from you... Unbelievable...

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mbe, I hope you listen to Vapo. This is all legal stuff. You need a lawyer. Most come here saying they can't afford one. What most realize very quickly is that they can't afford to not have one.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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